Had a client meeting today with a non-technical client. I now want to shoot myself. Highlights:
client: we need your database to support many internet providers
me: okaaay, but I thought the hospital had its own net connection
client: yes, but sometimes they don't connect properly. Just today, I tried to use the Internet Explorer provider, but it wouldn't connect, so I switched to the Netscape provider and that worked. We need to be able to use multiple internet providers.
me: oooh, you mean browsers.
*begins head-wall interface*
Then, they start going over every line of the fucking specification document, commenting on “should this label be called comment or remarks?”. FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS!
This is the 7th version of the spec document. It's been on the table for the last 4 months. We walked in thinking this version was going to be approved, as our last meeting was mostly nitpicking (again!). Um, no. Yet again, new stuff came out of the woodwork. Stuff that was never on the original contract. When we mention this, we only get big blank cow stares, and snide comments of the sort “but it's so much more logical. What's the use of having a system we can't use?”. Then when we say it's going to take more time and resources, and will cost more, they bitch. God damnit, they're already getting this huge project at bargain-basement ridiculously low prices. Shut the fuck up, will you?
My favourite quote of this meeting was “we're women, we change our minds often”. I wanted to jump over the table and bitchslap the condescending cow.
*huge hug*
(http://livejournal.com/users/petkatyyazzick)
“we're women, we change our minds often”
God I would have held her down for you… women like that give the rest of us a bad name.
I don't even want to write this because is sounds so ass stupid, but was your team all men? Because I am guessing that she never would have pulled that garbage if you had women on your side of the table…
F*cking idiot. And people wonder why most of my closest friends are male…
(http://livejournal.com/users/straysparrow)
they were 3 women from the hospital, and two guys from my company (including myself)
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)
Its still no excuse.
People are freaking retarded… you know that?
I think the next sport I take up is going to be 'idiot twacking'…
(http://livejournal.com/users/straysparrow)
'idiot twacking'
oooh! is there a tag team version?
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)
I am sure that we can arrange something… I'll wrestle them to the ground… and you twack them until the promise to stop being idiots…
That could take a whole lot of twacking you know…
(http://livejournal.com/users/straysparrow)
“we're women, we change our minds often.”
~pinches bridge of nose~ Oh lawd…bitch, please. Don't malign the rest of us with your inability to make up your mind. It's not because you're a woman, it's because you're a frelling twit.
(http://livejournal.com/users/ultimategirl)
I'll break out the heavy-duty dildo
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)
And why, pray tell, do you have a heavy-duty dildo?
(http://livejournal.com/users/eniran)
Yeah, no kidding – I can hear the glass ceiling falling another two steps already…
(http://livejournal.com/users/pretentiousgit)
Don't worry. I'd still think they were idiots if they were men.
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)
all the better to twack people with, my dear.
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)
*sniff* That's wonderful. It actually warms my heart.
If I'd've been there, I would have had to say something awful. I'm serious. it's why I will never be allowed out of my pen.
(http://livejournal.com/users/pretentiousgit)
I felt like saying something awful. That's why I hate working directly with clients.
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)
Yeah, you and me both. I'm presently waiting for someone to send me art files. They've had… two months warning. I have… three of the five files. So. 200 buttons. Less than a week of prep time left. Lalalalaa *STABSTABSTAB*
(http://livejournal.com/users/pretentiousgit)
You're welcome to join![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
straysparrow and in in our tag-team idiot twacking.
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)
Oh, I am so in. So in. *tags in*
(http://livejournal.com/users/pretentiousgit)
Yeah, all Lock-Stock-2-smokin' barrels style. *nods*
(http://livejournal.com/users/pretentiousgit)
we just need to find a good team name :)
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)
I don't know…
“the Idiot Twackers” is pretty straight forward and to the point. Besides, it reminds me of the Bushwackers, and they were cool.
A new member of our twacking team… its a twack-a-trois?
(get it? like menage-a-trois… only not? … sigh. I definitely need to get out more…)
(http://livejournal.com/users/straysparrow)
the bushwackers rocked :D and yes, you do need to get out more :P
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)
Mon amour, you will have to take me out and show me how its done when I get back to town next month. I already have you scheduled in after the nudie photo shoot you know… if you aren;t there to take me for sushi (or maybe crepes) I am going to have to hunt you down and idiot twack you.
(http://livejournal.com/users/straysparrow)
sushi it is (though I seem to recall you telling me you didn't like it, but hey :P you're a woman, and therefore prone to changing your mind).
You won't have to hunt me down, I'll be right next to you :)
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)
I don't like the stuff with fish in it… but I have come to tolerate, even crave (in a weird kind of I'm not super fond of it way) the veggie stuff.
So as long as there is veggie sushi, we are good to go.
(compare me to those women again and i will not be held responsible to the bush twacking that you will receive… they teach us to fight with weapons at martial arts you know)
(http://livejournal.com/users/straysparrow)
I doubt that martial dildo training is part of your curriculum :P
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)
ah yes, but have you seen the practice knives that we work with?
Close enough I say…
(http://livejournal.com/users/straysparrow)
no wonder you like martial arts so much :P
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)