Month: August 2004

I am getting old.

I woke up this afternoon (yes, afternoon, seeing as I went to bed at 4) all fucked up, mentally and physically. Mostly physically. Last night was… mokay. Had some very fun moments (with cute blonde), a rather weird moment (when cute blonde remembered me from the last time I was there – in january!), and lots of laughs. emjayne was on fire last night, with comments about 80s retro whores in fishnet, full-body jerk-offs and giving prospective club patrons her professional opinion :) I'd have stayed a bit longer at the club, but the others weren't having as good a time as I was, and I didn't mind leaving with the gang to go and meet up with friends of MJ. Sadly, I didn't get ashre79 a lap dance. I think she was weirded out by the whole experience :(

That's where the evening kinda went downhill, IMHO. We got to a little dive of a bar with way too loud music and not enough breathing room. Now I know I'm an old fogey when I realize that my “scene” is the upstairs of a quiet irish pub… eh. MJs friends were a no-show, so we went for food and then headed home. I had a friend fry that did not go over well with my stomach – and I've been kinda burping it ever since. Which brings me to the decisions.

My body is a mess. I just turned 29 and, if I continue on this course, I will not make 30. My cardio is shot, my blood pressure is high, and my stress levels are through the roof. I need to take care of what I eat, in smaller portions. I need to exercise. That last one will be a BITCH!

So… sigh. Starting on monday, I will cut back on the portions that I eat. No more pop. No more salty, fatty snack foods. I will renew my YMCA membership. I need to get my body back in shape… The fact that I'm stressed over the fact that I'm out of shape is making me physically ill. Isn't that a bitch.

I had a very, very enjoyable conversation with petkatyyazzick this afternoon. that was, in many respects, unique. As I told her, the next little while promises to be quite interesting.

ashre79 and eniran are here right now, and we're getting ready to go to meet moonlightjoy and (I believe) emjayne at Super Contact later tonight. I'm going to make good on my promise to buy Em a lap dance :)

There will be boobies, there will be beer. It will be good.

Lazing around today. Chatted a bit with petkatyyazzick and montreality; and Tia called from Bern this morning to wish me a happy birthday. It's always interesting to talk to her – with her accent, you'd swear she was british :) She's having an interesting weekend at a Busker festival there, among bird-flipping leather-kilted scotsmen, Mongolian singers and Italian saxophonists. It was fun talking to her, as I do miss talking to her on a regular basis.

montreality gave me a really sweet gift today – she paid for a 6-month full user account on LJ. Let the icon madness begin :D

I spent a good part of the morning watching MASH episodes on TV with cat sleeping right next to me. He was all quiet and content, purring away. How cute, thinks I.

Then he woke up and bit me on the ass.

Yes, he did.

Had sushi goodness with ashre79 and emjayne today. Lots of laughs (oh, and MJ, you still need to send me the Ass Shot Gallery, and sorry again for the antihistamines). Wandered around in Chapters and Metro Video after lunch, where we both did a bit of retail therapy. Went to Hurleys for a pint and a chat while we waited for eniran to get back from Houston.

I'm back home, the ladies are gone, and I'm alone with Boris and the 6th season of MASH on DVD. If I didn't have the gas pains from hell, this would be a good night. I hate my friggin GI track.

Just got back from a night of playing pool with ashre79, sbourge, emjayne and a whole bunch of other people whose names now elude me. Pool was fun. I haven't played in ages … and it shows. I managed to do stuff that, were I actually trying to do so, I would never be able to do on purpose. The shot of the evening involved me actually jumping the cue ball off the table. I was thanking my lucky stars that MJ wasn't pointing her camera at me at the time. Speaking of that camera, a friend of MJs took a wonderfully artistic “ass shot” series of pictures that she promised to send me tomorrow, so stay tuned for them. The evening was fun, even though the music was way too damned loud, and not entirely to my tastes, but hey, we still managed to laugh a lot and make lots of pervy comments about asses, sticks and balls.

It's now 1am and I'm off to bed as soon as I finish typing this entry. It's been a long day. We spent the better part of the afternoon walking downtown and on St-Denis – it was the perfect weather for it. Cool, sunny and windy. Got home, had some yummy dijon chicken goodness, and then flaked out on the couch for a bit before going to meet up MJ.

Other element of note is that I chatted with petkatyyazzick for a while before we had to leave. That was fun. She's enjoyably weird (cute too!), just like the rest of the crazy bunch. She fits right in :D

On that note, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Q: What do you do when your cat molests your houseguest?
A: Laugh and make lewd pussy-licking comments :D

LONDON (Reuters) – WANTED – A court jester to fill a post vacant for 350 years since England executed its king. English Heritage said in an advertisement in the Times on Thursday applicants for the competition at the weekend should bring their own costumes with bells, but said it would provide a bladder on a stick — a traditional jester's prop.

Contrary to the image of a buffoon, court jesters had to be highly astute, able to lift the spirits of their monarchs and risked death if they failed — as many did.

The duties of the last court jester, whose job ended in 1649 when Charles I lost his head, included making him laugh and providing a distraction from politics.

This time, however, English Heritage said the winner would not risk decapitation but would still have to provide trenchant wit. Would-be fools should attend a public audition Saturday at Stoneleigh Park in central England, wearing their costumes.

Those people who know me well will probably have snarfed at that headline.

However, this time, it's perfectly innocent (well, ok, maybe not that innocent). I'm basking in my day off. Got up at a decent hour, and spent a good part of the morning cooking. Made myself pancakes for breakfast, and then a batch of my artery-clogging chocolate muffins for myself and miss ashre79, who's staying at my place for the next two days.

Today promises to be a clear, chilly day. Perfect walking weather, so I'll probably go walkabout downtown with the tourist.

Went to have lunch with moonlightjoy today. I firmly believe I was channeling the essence of eniran, cause man, I was in fine form perviness-wise. To the innocent statements of “I feel like eating something fishy today” and “Man, I get stuffed so easily” made by J, I could not resist giving a chuckle :) Actually, I was good. I didn't say anything, just let her know that she'd left herself wide open just now :P I “redeemed” myself by ordering just the right amount of sushi goodness, which hit the spot quite nicely.

While we were chatting away, I told her about my plans to bring ashre79 to a strip club sometime during her stay. I have a feeling that this will turn into a girls night out in short order, with me being named an honorary lesbian :P

British Lawnmower races
This year's race was dubbed 'The Weapons of Grass Destruction' and 35 teams battled overnight from 8 p.m. on Saturday (July 31) to 8 a.m. on Sunday (August 1) to claim top honours in the most prestigious race of the Lawnmowerracing season.

Three different classes of lawnmowers race: traditional with seat; buggy; and mini-tractors. The overall winner is the team completing the most laps.

It takes months of work to prepare the finely-tuned machines. For safety reasons, all the blades are removed. Each team has three drivers who swap periodically and there is a pit lane where teams refuel and carry out the inevitable repairs.

Hot and dry conditions made the race a real endurance test and the 0.8 mile (13 km) track was fast and bumpy. All the mowers passed scrutineering to ensure they were race worthy and met the strict safety and modification rules.At 8 p.m. the race was started in typical Le Mans style.

As dusk turned to night the mowers continued to race around the circuit, which became increasingly hard and bumpy. Periodically the track was watered to try to keep the dust down. The pit lane became a hive of activity as mowers came in for refuelling and driver changeover. After a painful 12 hours team No. 1 — named Cupid Stunts Racing — took the Chequered flag, having completed 286 miles (457 kms).

http://tv.reuters.com/ifr_main.jsp?st=1091551262968&rf=bm&mp=WMP&wmp=1&rm=1&cpf=true&fr=071204_123527_2bb514xfdacffb7a5x37dc&rdm=67718.68136426218
China to hold Miss Plastic Surgery pageant
BEIJING (Reuters)- China is giving the beauty pageant a surgical makeover with plans to anoint its first Miss Plastic Surgery this October, state media say.

Open to women from any country, the only requirement in the made-to-order competition is proof of inauthenticity — in the form of a doctor's certificate of cosmetic surgery, the China Daily said.

The idea for the pageant came after one woman was barred from a traditional beauty contest because she had spent more than 110,000 yuan (7,138 pounds) on plastic surgery that gave her a whole new face, it said.

The recent rise of China's “man-made beauties” has been attributed to a common sentiment that better-looking women find better jobs and marry wealthier men, it said.

Chinese people spend about 20 billion yuan a year altering their looks, the newspaper said.

Communist China, which once considered make-up and beauty contests as bourgeois, has increasingly latched on to pageants and played for the first time to the Miss World competition in 2003.

Last month, China announced plans for a beauty pageant for the elderly, with contestants aged 55 and over competing in the Zhen'ap Cup National Contest of the Beauty of the Gray-Head Group.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=856&ncid=856&e=1&u=/nm/20040803/od_uk_nm/oukoe_china_pageant