Month: February 2005

I found out what's going on with my website. Basically, there are 2 nameserver entries for www.flubu.com, one being at 207.44.134.115 and one at 72.9.240.17. Depending on what DNS record your ISP had cached, you would be seeing one version and not the other. I was updating the 207… one. If your ISP's DNS was pointing to the other, you weren't seeing bupkus. The problem is “fixed” in that synched the files among both versions.

Needless to say, I am not impressed with my ISP's tech support right now.

I had lunch with Katy earlier today. It was amusing to see her make love to her milkshake. Find below her impression of a walrus:

She also did an elephant, a rabbit and a vampire (with hissing noises!)

This is the look I got when I told her the pictures were going online :P

Getting to work was an experience this morning. Slept ok, even though Katy had a bit of a rough night. She's getting better, for which I'm thankful, but the antibiotics she's taking are making her a bit queasy. It's poo, but it's still better than the alternative. We're taking things slow and easy. Her fever took a lot out of her. She couldn't open a bottle of water yesterday. So, anyway, this morning, gravity was especially strong as I found it hard to get out of bed. Curse you increased gravity *shakes fist*

Ahem. So, I was a bit sluggish this morning. I was more alert than Boris – who's still getting over his trip to the vet yesterday where he lost a few bits of himself – but I was way off my regular schedule. As a side note, poor kitty… He was walking funny last night, and looked rather pathetic and disoriented. Now I agree with you that I'd probably be worse if I had my balls cut off, but it's for the best. He was getting to be a stinky kitty. I just hope it doesn't affect his mood too much. It took me an extra 20 minutes just to get out of the apartment… hmph, and people say I faff around after that.

So anyway, as I'm trying to leave to try and get to the office at a “reasonable” time, I kept getting pressured to perform oral acts upon the person who was occupying my bed^†. Every time I tried to leave, I kept hearing “MORE!” I take it as a sign she's getting better.

I ended up taking a cab to work. This is where the distrubing part comes in. The cab driver was bald, but had HUUUUUUUUUUGE flaps of skin at the back of his skull. Like, scary, disturbing, can't-stop-looking-at-them sort of way. And they were shiny. Like he had some sort of alien growth on his head. He had to ask me where I was going twice because I couldn't stop staring…

Anyway, got to the office and now I'm working my way through some paperwork, joy. At least the weekend is coming and there will be much cooking. And the superbowl. Yay!

^† And before you get all riled up, she wanted a kiss. Pervs, all of you…

Things that happened tonight:

• Katy falling asleep on me and drooling on my shirt
• Random snarly gargoyle noises punctuated by “oooh! email!”
• Katy being unable to even approach me without me bursting in a fit of girly giggles
• Random yelling of “you don't love me anymore” and “PANTS!”
• “I like where you're headed, but just so you know, I'm going to fart soon”

 

For your yoinking pleasure.

Since she's been here, 3 different people have referred to Katy as my wife. If 3 people say it, it must be true. There was the vet when I went with Boris, and two people at the Jewish ER this morning: a nice woman who gave me a toonie to get Katy some water when the *@$&%*#% machine wouldn't give me change for a new 20$ bill and the discharge nurse this morning.

Cause, oh, ya, detail, we spent the night at the hospital last night. Katy had been feeling poorly for the last few days, but things went beyond my comfort zone last night. After her second bout of really bad chills and generalized body ache, the people at InfoSante thought it best to get to the hospital to have things checked out. I'm really REALLY pissed at the new thermometer I bought. I was thinking she might be running a fever, but the friggin thing kept saying that it was all nice and reasonable and below 100oF. Turns out, she was running quite a high fever due to a bacterial infection that dropped in uninvited. They kept her overnight for observation and fluids. After waiting for what seemed forever, she got a gurney and I got a chair and things pretty much stayed like that for 10 hours.

She's still less than stellar, but my wife should be over the worst of it. Give her some love why don't you. I will.

Disgruntled Asian Tattoo Artist Inks His Revenge

Pitt junior Brandon Smith wanted a tattoo that proclaimed his manliness, so he decided to get the Chinese characters for strength and honor on his chest. After 20 minutes under the needle of local tattoo artist Andy Sakai, he emerged with the symbol for small penis embedded in his flesh.

I had it for months before I knew what it really meant, Smith said.

Then I went jogging through the Carnegie Mellon campus and a group of Asian kids started laughing and calling me Shorty. Thats when I knew something was up.

Sakai, an award-winning tattoo artist, was tired of seeing sacred Japanese words, symbols of his heritage, inked on random white people. So he used their blissful ignorance to make an everlasting statement. Any time acustomer came to Sakais home studio wanting Japanese tattooed on them, he modified it into a profane word or phrase.

All these preppy sorority girls and suburban rich boys think theyre so cool cause they have a tattoo with Japanese characters. But it doesnt mean shit to them! Sakai said. The dumbasses dont even realize that Ive written slut or pervert on their skin!

In the last month, seven people unknowingly received explicit tattoos from the disgruntled artist. Kerri Baker, a Carlow College freshman, paid $50 to have the symbols for beautiful goddess etched above her belly button, but when she went into Szechuan Express Asian Noodle Shop sporting a bare midriff, the giggling employees explained to her that the tattoo really said, Insert General Tsos Chicken Here!

I dont even like General Tsos! Baker sobbed. Im a vegetarian!

Sakai doesnt feel guilty about using hapless college students as canvases for his graffiti.

I think Im helping my fellow man by labeling all the stupid people in the world, he explained. Its not a crime, its a public service.

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Asian Tattoo Artist Inks Revenge Behind Bars

When local tattoo artist Andy Sakai was sentenced to five years in prison for inking profanities on hordes of hapless customers, many thought his days of body desecration were over.

They were wrong.

Sakais latest victims are no longer college students. His current targets are, ironically, his fellow inmates.

Using a tattoo gun fashioned out of a sharpened paper clip, dental floss, and a ballpoint pen taped to a plastic spork, the disgruntled prisoner has drawn Black Panther Party symbols on white supremacists, written CRIPS 4 EVA on rival gang members, and left dozens of hardened criminals with butterflies, fairies, and unicorns permanently etched in their skin.

“I wanted a stack of skulls on my back,” said murderer Jimmy Drake, “and that Asian prick gave me a giant Winnie the Pooh!”

Many prisoners ask for spider webs on their elbows to signify time spent in jail. Sakais webs have hidden messages in them such as, “Fuck Cops,” “I Swallow,” and “Salad Tosser.” Sakai got the idea for the cryptic tats after reading Charlottes Web in the prison library. “That E.B. Whites a genius, man,” Sakai proclaimed.

For his own protection, Sakai has been moved to solitary confinement where hell serve the rest of his sentence.

“Prison isnt so bad,” Sakai said. “It gives me time to sit and seriously contemplate my next diabolically evil plan!”

Left work early today. I had the headache that wouldn't quit and Katy was also feeling quite crappy. She's been feeling under the weather for the last few days. I think she's coming down with a cold. The classic signs: headaches, fever, full body aches and now a bit of a cough is coming in. Grrrrr *kicks the cold*. I'm doing my best to keep her comfy – there's not much else I can do at the moment and that pisses me off to no extent. There's a pot of homemade chicken soup simmering on the oven, and I'm making sure she has enough liquids.

I tried my hand at making quiche last night. The pastry was a challenge. I wanted to hurl everything through my kitchen window at one point. Still, I managed to salvage something that Katy says is decent – even if I found it a bit too dry and crumbly. The quiche filling itself though was a smashing success: eggs, milk, cheese, cream, bacon, leeks and mushrooms. It was all golden brown when it came out of the oven and was nummy. We had it again for breakfast this mornign :)

I'm being attacked by a pink dinosaur whose name effectively means nosehair.