Once more unto the breach.

I had my first allergic reaction serious enough to scare me yesterday in close to two years. I'm really not happy about it. In fact, angry, frustrated and scared would be better words.

I don't know how it happened, or why. They say that, statistically, a person with food allergies will react once every two years, no matter how paranoid you are. Something will slip through and bite you in the ass. Well, yesterday, I got bitten.

Sometime during the afternoon, about an hour after lunch, my right eye started to itch and swell up. When I went to the bathroom, I found that my face was red and blotchy. I think I scared my coworkers. I took some benadryl and started to wait it out. In the end, my nerves got the better of me and I asked for a coworker to drive me to Addenbrookes. In my heart of hearts though, I knew it was a waste of time because by that time, the benadryl was kicking in and the blotchiness was gone. I no longer itched and the swelling wasn't getting any worse. As I pretty much predicted, by the time I was seen by the triage nurse and told that “somebody would see me shortly”, I felt ok. I then proceeded to spend the next hour cooling my heels in the waiting room until Katy arrived to join me and we decided to just go home. By that time, most of the swelling in my eye was gone and there wasn't anything they would have done anyway.

What really frustrates me though is that I don't know what caused my reaction. What we had for lunch was leftovers from the previous night's dinner and that was perfectly fine. I was finally at a point in my life where I could happily (well, most of the time) live with my allergies. I was comfortable. Now, that's gone. I'm paranoid again about every thing I eat. I know I need to just jump back into the saddle and try and get over this as soon as I can, but it's easier said than done. Is it just something that I know I'm already allergic that slipped in somehow? Maybe it was something on the cup that I got from the cafeteria and later used to drink my tea. Maybe it was something that fell into the dish from the communal microwave. Maybe…. maybe… maybe.

Maybe my body decided to hate me some more and become allergic to something new, which will mean I'll need to overhaul my diet again and make it even more restrictive. Maybe… maybe… maybe.

*sigh*

I'll just have to work through the list of ingredients that I had for lunch and see if something comes up again. Hopefully, it won't. That'll mean it was just “one of those things” and I'll be able to leave it behind me and go back to living, instead of being afraid.

The good news though is that I know I'm surrounded by people who care and will look after me if bad things happen. This helps a lot.