It must have seemed such a simple wheeze to Gordon Brown: a motto to capture what makes Britain great. The idea ticks so many boxes on the Prime Ministers to-do list that it proved irresistible to him.
A motto would be new, but could convey tradition. Choosing it means consulting people, the kind of participatory democracy that rebuilds trust in politics. And then there is the unstated post-devolution awkwardness of having a Scot as Prime Minister. The motto can highlight Britishness, what unites rather than what divides us. How clever! How British!
However, before the wording of Mr Browns motto has even been agreed, let alone embossed on letterheads and passports, the public seems to have rumbled him.
Hundreds of suggestions have been submitted by Times Online readers, in response to an invitation by Comment Central blog. There can, surely, be few citizens juries more representative of Middle Britain. And yet they make grim reading for the Prime Minister.
A few make game efforts to enter the spirit of Mr Browns earnest endeavour to capture the spirit of Britishness in a few short words. Some are predictable, others a little lame; they wouldnt really do the trick for Mr Brown. Many more home straight in on the very question of Scotlands place in the United Kingdom that Mr Brown would rather we all skated over. Others capture a sense of decline, with a sizeable number of contributors linking this with Labours decade in power.
Other undercurrents are a fixation with alcohol, nascent hostility to the French and the Americans, and a stubborn refusal to treat the quest for a motto with the seriousness that our Prime Minister clearly thinks it deserves. Several refer to cups of tea; a couple are even devoted to dentistry.
One contributor describes modern Britain thus: Dipso, Fatso, Bingo, Asbo, Tesco.
Some attempt to capture the combination of diffidence and stoicism of the British: Britain, a terribly nice place, Less stuffy than we sound, Stubborn to the point of greatness and Turned out nice again.
Some readers, a minority admittedly, take the idea seriously. Britain: my country, my home, might fit the bill for Mr Brown, at a stretch. I respect who you are could appeal to the man who, on becoming Prime Minister, quoted the motto of his old school, Kirkcaldy High: I will try my utmost.
There are the worthy, if cheesy: Great people, great country, Great Britain, Hail Great Britain! Live, develop and flower, A country so brave and true, Fairness for all and For honour and for freedom.
A touch of Victorian triumphalism is evident in some: Pride, passion, history, monarchy, exploration or Courage, reason, humanity, democracy, monarchy.
Then come the less comfortable, captured thus: Promoting ahistorical unity myths since 1066. Others are more pointed: West Lothian was my undoing, Britain will always be England or Britain is dead. Long live England.
Just as unwelcome to the Prime Minister are mottos with a broader political flavour: Once Great: Britain, Once mighty empire, slightly used, Your nation, ruined by Labour, and Going down with Brown.
Americans who missed the boat, another contribution hinting at a lack of national pride, is offset by At least were not France.
There were signs in Whitehall yesterday that Mr Brown may be going cool on the idea. Last month Michael Wills, a Constitutional Affairs Minister, told MPs that he welcomed suggestions for a national motto. But his department said yesterday: The Ministry of Justice is working on a statement of values. If proposals for a motto come from that, obviously we would look at them.
Returning to the drawing board would chime with several ideas from Times Online readers. One proposes: Britain is great without a motto.
Original Times Entry:
http://timesonline.typepad.com/comment/2007/11/i-want-comment-.html
Some of my favourites:
- At Least We're Not American
- Dead Heroes And Live Morons
- Dipso, Fatso, Bingo, Asbo, Tesco
- Drinking Continues Till Morale Improves
- I'll Put The Kettle On.
- Land Of 'Health and Safety'
- Once 'Great', Now Not So
- Sex, Drink, Death and Taxes.
- Someday This Too Shall Pass
- Til Death Doth Us Tax…
- We Apologise For The Inconvenience
- We Strive For Valliant Defeat
- Yeah, But No, But, Yeah.
- Impossible To Not Be Cynical
- Sorry, Is This The Queue?
- The Government Should Do Something
OMFG Way to make my day. Except the first one, which is rightfully ours. Perhaps these could be localized.
Canada: We're Very Very Sorry.
Scotland: Drinking Continues Until Morale Improves.
Britain: The Government Should Do Something.
Wales: Someday This Too Shall Pass.
(http://livejournal.com/users/pretentiousgit)