Going for a walk
Sausage!!!!
And cake. He charmed the lady at Waitrose into giving him the one with the biggest flake in it.
The beaver is a proud and noble animal
Notes from a bemused canuck
If Hitler had dropped snow on Britain instead of bombs he could have moonwalked into Westminster with his nob out and still taken power.
Thanks, Joe :-)
Current Mood: Calm
At least give the man some credit for originality…
Hello.
I found your e-mail address on medical site.
My name is [REDACTED], I am from Ukraine, I am 32 years old man, I do not drink alcohol and do not smoke cigarettes, my blood is O+ and I have a good health. If you need liver transplant I am ready to give part of my liver, but I want to receive a big compensation for that…
If you do not need liver transplant, but you know somebody who need it, please send my message to this person or keep it just in case.
[REDACTED]
P.S. This is not a joke and I am not a cheater or scammer.
Current Mood: Amused
The truly lazy are often the most creative. Like this developer, who was caught outsourcing his entire job to China so that he could spend his time at work… not working.
The ruse—highlighted in a Verizon case study—was carried out by an employee called “Bob” who worked at an anonymous “critical infrastructure company”. The trick was only spotted when someone noticed suspicious activity on the company’s VPN log. The report explains:
“We received a request from a US-based company asking for our help in understanding some anomalous activity that they were witnessing in their VPN logs. Plainly stated, the VPN logs showed [Bob] logged in from China, yet the employee is right there, sitting at his desk, staring into his monitor.”
While Bob apparently received glowing performance reviews, all of his development work was being carried out from China. In fact, he pulled off the same scam across multiple companies concurrently, earning “several hundred thousand dollars a year”.
Further investigation revealed a typical day’s work for Bob included: reading Reddit for two hours, shopping on eBay for an hour, browsing Facebook for two hours, and checking LinkedIn for a further two.
Current Mood: Amused
Italian Beef is made by slowly roasting lean beef in a pan filled with seasoned beef-based stock. Then it is sliced paper thin, soaked in the juice for a few minutes, and layered generously, dripping wet, onto sections of Italian bread loaves, sliced lengthwise. This crust is typically tan, only slightly crumbly, fluffy and white in the center, and high in gluten.
The meat is topped with sautéd green bell pepper slices and giardiniera, which is usually a spicy hot blend of chopped serrano peppers, carrots, cauliflower florets, celery, olives, herbs, salt & pepper, packed in oil and/or vinegar. Finally juice is spooned over the toppings, making the bread wet and chewy.
Preparation time: 20 minutes.
Cooking time: Allow about 2 hours to cook and another 3 hours to firm the meat for slicing in the refrigerator if you don’t have a meat slicer. You need 90 minutes to cook a 3 pound roast, or about 30 minutes per pound. You can cook this well in advance and refrigerate the meat and juice and heat it up as needed. You can even freeze it. This is a great Sunday dish because the smell of the roasting beef and herbs fills the house. After you cook it, you need another 30 minutes to chill it before slicing.
Ingredients
The beef
1 boneless beef roast, about 3 pounds with most of the fat trimmed off. Top sirloin, top round, or bottom round are preferred in that order.
The rub
1 tablespoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
The juice
6 cups of hot water
4 cubes of beef bouillon (see discussion below)
The sandwich
10 soft, fluffy, high gluten rolls, sliced lengthwise but hinged on one side or Italian bread loaves cut widthwise into 10 portions
3 medium sized green bell peppers
1 tablespoon olive oil, approximately
1 cup hot giardiniera
1) Mix the rub in a bowl. Sprinkle it generously on the meat and massage it in. There will be some left over. Do not discard it, we will use it in the juice. Let the meat sit at room temp for about 30 minutes. Meanwhile, preheat the grill or oven to 200°C/400°F.
2) Pour the water into a 9 x 13″ baking pan and heat it to a boil on the stove top. Dissolve the bouillon in the water. It may look thin, but it will cook down and concentrate during the roasting. Pour the remaining rub into the pan. Everyone has their own secret. Many, like Al’s #1 (my fave), put the meat in the juice, submerged half way while it roasts rather than hovering above it. Roast at 200°C/400°F until interior temperature is about 130°F/55°C for medium rare, about 30 minutes per pound (exact time will depend on the cut of meat, its thickness, and how well calibrated your oven is). This may seem long, but you are cooking over water and that slows things down. The temp will rise about 5°F more as it rests. Don’t worry if there are people who won’t eat medium-rare meat. The meat will cook further in step 5, and you can just leave theirs in the juice until it turns to leather if that’s what they want.
Beware. This recipe is designed for a 9 x 13″ baking pan. If you use a larger pan, the water may evaporate and the juice will burn. If you have to use a larger pan, add more water. Regardless of pan size, keep an eye on the pan to make sure it doesn’t dry out during cooking. Add more water if necessary.
3) While the meat is roasting, cut the bell peppers in half and remove the stems and seeds. Rinse, and cut into 1/4″ strips. Cook the peppers in a frying pan over a medium high heat with enough olive oil to coat the bottom, about 1 tablespoon. When they are getting limp and the skins begin to brown, about 15 minutes, they are done. Set aside at room temp.
4) Remove the roast and the juice pan. Pour off the juice, put the meat back in the pan, and place it in the coldest part of the refrigerator. Let it cool for a few hours, long enough for the meat to firm up. This will make slicing easier. Chill the juice, too, in a separate container. Slice the meat against the grain as thin as humanly possible, preferably with a meat slicer. If you don’t have a slicer, use a thin blade and draw it along the meat. If you try to cut down or saw through the crust you will be cutting it too thick.
5) Taste the juice. If you want you can thin it with more water, or make it richer by cooking it down on top of the stove. Turn the heat to a gentle simmer. Soak the meat in the juice for about 1 minute at a low simmer. That’s all. That warms the meat and makes it very wet. You can’t leave the meat in the juice for more than 10 minutes or else it starts to curl up, squeezes out its natural moisture, and toughens.
6) To assemble the sandwich, start by spooning some juice directly onto the bun. Get it wet. Then lay on the beef generously. Spoon on more juice (don’t burn your hand). Top it with bell pepper and, if you wish, giardiniera. If you want it “wet”, dip the whole shootin’ match in juice. Be sure to have plenty of napkins on hand.
Current Mood: Amused
Prep Time: 20 min
Inactive Prep Time: 16 hr 0 min
Serves: 3 to 4 cups
Ingredients
1/4 cup table salt
1 cup small-diced carrots
1 cup tiny cauliflower florets
4 to 8 serrano peppers, sliced (depending on heat level desired)
1 stalk celery, diced small
1 red bell pepper, diced small
2 cups olive oil
1 tablespoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Directions
Combine 2 cups water and the salt in a glass or non-reactive bowl. Mix until the salt is dissolved. Add the carrots, cauliflower, serranos, celery and bell pepper to the salt water and stir to combine. Cover and refrigerate overnight.
Day 2, drain and rinse the vegetables. In a clean bowl, mix together the oil with the oregano and pepper. Add the vegetables and mix to combine. Allow to marinate overnight. Giardiniera will only get better with time. After 2 days at the most in the bowl, you can place in air-tight mason jars and keep in the fridge for at least 2 to 3 weeks.
• You pronounce it “Muntreal”, not “Mahntreal”.
• You have ever said anything like “I have to stop at the guichet before we get to the dep.”
• Your only concern about jaywalking is getting a ticket.
• You agree that Montréal drivers are crazy, but you’re secretly proud of their nerves of steel.
• The most exciting thing about the South Shore is that you can turn right on a red.
• You know that the West Island is not a separate geographical formation.
• You bring smoked meat from Schwartz’s and bagels from St-Viateur if you’re visiting anyone.
• You refer to Tremblant as “up North.”
• You know how to pronounce Pie-IX.
• You’re not impressed with hardwood floors.
• You can watch soft-core porn on broadcast TV, and this has been true for at least 25 years.
• You were drinking café-au-lait before it was latte.
• Shopper’s Drug Mart is Pharmaprix and Staples is Bureau en gros, and PFK is finger lickin’ good.
• You really believe Just For Laughs is an international festival. For two weeks a year.
• Everyone, – drivers, pedestrians, and cyclists – think they’re immortal, and that you’ll move first.
• You know that Rocket Richard had nothing to do with astrophysics.
• You’ve seen Brother André’s heart.
• You know the difference between the SQ, the SAQ, and the SAAQ.
• You measure temperature and distance in metric, but weight and height in Imperial measure.
• You know that Montréal is responsible for introducing to North America: bagels, souvlaki, smoked meat.
• There has to be at least 30 cm of snow on the ground in 24 hours to consider it too snowy to drive.
• You remember where you were during the Ice Storm.
• You’ve been to at least 2 festivals drunk
• You discuss potholes like most people discuss weather.
• “The Futuristic City” is actually Habitat ’67.
• You find it amusing when people from outside Québec compliment you on how good your English is.
• You have yet to understand a single announcement made on the Métro PA system.
• You don’t find American comedians speaking “gibberish” French even remotely funny.
• You don’t find it weird that there’s a strip club on every corner downtown.
• You know the words to the national anthem in French.
• You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
• Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
• You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
Current Mood: Amused
MUST. TRY. THIS!!!
Two Eggos toasted, scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon, make into a sandwich. It takes 15 min, including cleaning of the pan. Peppers, onions, etc can be added, of course.
Current Mood: Amused