Month: March 2014
Data entry typo?
Either that, or its a bloody warm day for March…
The tories are completely out of touch with the man on the street
British workers have suffered the longest fall in living standards since the 1870s, and the Tory offer is making pints of beer 1p cheaper and cutting bingo tax. Oh, and the Bingo Association has pointed out that reducing duty of bingo hall profits from 20% to 10% will have “no money-in-the-pocket effect for customers”, so let’s park that in the “patronising and irrelevant” box.
According to the polls, over half of the population believe that the Tories only represent the interests of the rich. The cabinet is dominated by white, privately educated men, the sort of government that would not look out of place in 19th century Britain.
No big deal…
The Tao of Hafez
Now that all your worry has proved such an unlucrative business,
why not find a better job?
I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness
the astonishing light of your own being
Even after all this time,
the sun never says to the earth
“you owe me.”
Look what happens
with a love like that.
It lights the whole sky.
The words you speak
become the house you live in.
Ever since happiness heard your name,
it has been running through the streets
trying to find you.
Fear is the cheapest room in the house.
I would like to see you living In better conditions.
This place where you are right now,
God circled on a map for you.
One regret, dear world,
that I am determined not to have
when I am lying on my deathbed
is that I did not kiss you enough.
There is a Beautiful Creature
Living in a hole you have dug.
So at night I set fruit and grains
And little pots of wine and milk
Besides your soft earthen mounds,
And I often sing.
But still, my dear,
You do not come out.
I have fallen in love with Someone
Who hides inside you.
We should talk about this problem–
Otherwise, I will never leave you alone.
Stay close to any sounds
that make you glad you are alive.
You carry all the ingredients
to turn your life into a nightmare
–Don’t mix them!
A day of silence can be a pilgrimage in itself.
From Wikipedia: Khwāja Shams-ud-Dīn Muhammad Hāfez-e Shīrāzī (Persian: خواجه شمسالدین محمد حافظ شیرازی), known by his pen name Hāfez (حافظ; also Hāfiz) (1325/26–1389/1390), was a Persian poet. His collected works composed of series of Persian literature are to be found in the homes of most people in Iran who learn his poems by heart and use them as proverbs and sayings to this day. His life and poems have been the subject of much analysis, commentary and interpretation, influencing post-fourteenth century Persian writing more than any other author.
Be passionate!
The best jokes from young people around the world
According to the Guardian:
Germany
Two planets meet. The first asks: “So, how are you?”
The second answers: “Well, I’m sick, I’ve got Homo Sapiens.”
The first replies: “Oh, I know that one. No worries, it’ll pass.”
Brazil
Do you know the joke of “no me neither”?
No.
Me neither.
Denmark
Here in England, I learned a new word: chubbychaser. As a fat person, I find that hilarious. Look, there’s never a need for a chase. I don’t run.
Finland
Which traffic sign allows you to make a U-turn on a highway in Finland?
You are approaching the Russian border.
Spain
A man enters a store and says: “15 litres of wine please.”
“Did you bring a container for this? ”
“You’re speaking to it.”
Greece
Three men are sentenced to death in a faraway country: an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Cypriot. On execution day they are asked to name their last wish. The Englishman asks for a cigar. The Frenchman a glass of wine. The Cypriot asks to be granted a last opportunity to talk to the execution squad about the Cyprus problem. On hearing this, the Frenchman and Englishman change their last wishes and beg to be shot before the Cypriot starts talking.
Israel
A Polish Jewish woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts: “Is there is a doctor here?” A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: “I am. What is the problem?” She replies: “Do you want to meet my daughter?”
Norway
Two whales are sitting at a bar. One of them suddenly says: “Mmmwaamm!”
The second whale looks over and and says: “Holy shit, you’re fucking drunk.”
I feel sorry for dogs
Beachside zen garden
Had some time on the beach with Bean today and I made a zen garden while Bean was playing. Then he saw what I’d done and promptly destroyed it. There’s a koan in there somewhere, but I’m not enlightened enough to spot it.
So a swan walks up to an ice cream cart guy and says…
Caption this for me, I don’t have a punchline :-(