We all have at least one, and most of us have many: Sexual fantasies. In fact, it’s normal, and even healthy, to have sexual fantasies.
What might not be normal is the type of sexual fantasy you’re daydreaming over. A new study is helping shed light on which sexual fantasies are prevalent and which are unusual and rare. Until recently, scientists had limited data on what constituted a normal sexual fantasy versus an unusual one, and most surveys that had explored this sensitive territory had surveyed only university students. But a big new data set has changed that.
To find out once and for all what the general population thinks about, a team of scientists at the University of Montreal in Quebec, Canada, straight up asked 1,517 adults residing in Quebec about their sexual fantasies. They published their findings on Friday in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
“Clinically, we know what pathological sexual fantasies are: they involve non-consenting partners, they include pain, or they are absolutely necessary in deriving satisfaction,” lead author Christian Joyal said in a statement released by the university. “But apart from that, what exactly are abnormal or atypical fantasies?”
The team conducted an internet survey with 799 women and 717 men, where the mean age of the subjects was 30 years. Of the sample, 85.1% said they were heterosexual, 3.6% said they were definitely homosexual, and the rest were in between. The survey involved 55 statements that probed the nature and intensity of the subject’s sexual fantasies. The subjects rated each statement on a scale of 1 to 7, with 7 meaning they had experienced a very intense fantasy about what was described in the statement and 1 meaning they had not felt any intensity at all for that fantasy.
Here are some examples of the statements they answered:
- I have fantasized about having sex with an unknown person.
- I have fantasized about petting with a total stranger in a public place (e.g., metro).
- I have fantasized about being forced to have sex.
- I have fantasized about having sex with an animal.
- I have fantasized about having anal sex.
The full 55 are at the end of this post, along with how often they show up in the population questioned.
The team also asked the volunteers to describe, in detail, their favourite sexual fantasy if it was not included in the survey. After what must have been some very interesting reading, the team found that the men had more fantasies and described their favourite fantasy more vividly than the women did. Also, men expressed a stronger desire to make their fantasies a reality.
More women fantasized about having sex in a specific location while far more men fantasized about receiving oral sex. Interestingly, both sexes were about equal when it came to participating in group sex, although more men reported wanting to have an active versus passive role during group sex.
When it came to whom the subjects thought about, men reported fantasizing more about people they were not currently involved with. Of particular interest to the researchers was the high number of fantasies that were mostly unique to men, for example, fantasizing about anal sex and watching their partner have sex with another man.
“Evolutionary biological theories cannot explain these fantasies,” Joyal said in a release issued by the university.
After analyzing the data set as a whole, the team created a glossary defining certain “rare,” “unusual,” and “typical” sex fantasies. Rare meant that 2.3% or less of individuals reported this fantasy. Unusual meant 15.9% or less reported having them. Common fantasies meant they were shared by between 50% and 84.1% of individuals, and typical fantasies are common among more than 84.1% of the surveyed population.
Here are a few examples of what the researchers found in each of these categories:
Rare: sex with a child or animal
Unusual: “golden showers,” cross-dressing, sex with a prostitute, abusing an intoxicated person
Typical: sex in a romantic location, receiving oral sex, sex with two women (primarily a male fantasy)
The team isn’t done with its precious dataset, however. The researchers are now analyzing subgroups of fantasies to see which types of fantasies are common among the same people. For example, people who reported submission fantasies also described domination fantasies, which indicates that these two themes are connected.
Here’s the full table of the researchers’ findings. Where do your fantasies fit in?
As a side note, I’d have said yes to just under half of the statements :)