Had a migraine today. Just wanted to sleep. Didn’t expect sass from wifey about catching me in bed spooning pussy.
Month: May 2016
Peeps be all mad gels about my pita!
The tao of Rebel
It’s called managing
Well there’s your problem…
[recipe] Mustard, bacon and caramelised onion scones
2 rashers streaky bacon, rind removed
450g self-raising flour, plus extra for dusting
generous pinch salt
pinch baking powder
1 tsp English mustard powder
110g unsalted butter, diced
1 free-range egg, lightly beaten
50ml double cream
2 tbsp ready-made onion marmalade, plus extra to serve
200ml full fat milk
Method
1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F. Preheat the grill to a medium-high setting. When the grill is hot, grill the bacon for 2-3 minutes on each side, or until crisp and golden brown. Set aside on a plate lined with kitchen paper. When cool enough to handle, crumble into small pieces. Set aside until needed.
2. Sift the flour, salt and baking powder into a large mixing bowl. Stir in the mustard powder.
3. Add the diced butter to the bowl, then rub the butter into the flour mixture using your fingertips until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs.
4. Make a well in the centre of the dry mixture and add the beaten egg and cream, gradually drawing the dry mixture into the wet mixture using a wooden spoon.
5. Stir in the onion marmalade and reserved bacon pieces, then gradually stir in enough milk to make the mixture come together
as a soft dough. (The mixture should not be sticky.)
6. Dust a clean work surface with a little flour. Turn the dough out onto the work surface and roll it out to a thickness of 2.5cm/1in. Stamp out twelve 5cm/2in rounds from the dough using a cookie cutter, placing them onto a nonstick baking sheet as you go.
7. Bake the scones in the oven for 15-20 minutes, or until risen and golden brown. Set aside to cool on a wire rack for at least 10 minutes before serving.
The scones will keep in an airtight container for 2-3 days. Otherwise, freeze and toast lightly to serve.
For extra golden brown and crunchy scones, brush the tops with a little more beaten egg and smear with a little more onion marmalade before baking
[recipe] Potato and steak nachos
2 russet potatoes, sliced
500g skirt steak
4 Tbsp. olive oil
Salt (to taste)
Pepper (to taste)
2 tsp paprika
115g shredded cheddar cheese
60g shredded Monterey jack cheese
Sour cream
Salsa (optional)
2 minced green onions
Place sliced potatoes in a large bowl. Toss with olive oil, salt, pepper, and paprika.
Lay the potatoes on a baking sheet and bake at 450˚F / 230˚C for 20 minutes.
Season skirt steak with salt and pepper. Cook on high heat for roughly three minutes each side, for medium-rare.
Let the steak rest for 10 minutes, then slice into cubes.
In a cast iron skillet or baking sheet, arrange cooked potatoes into a heap. Top with steak, then cheddar and monterey jack cheese. Broil for five minutes or until the cheese is melted.
Serve immediately with sour cream, salsa, green onions or any topping of choice.
[recipe] Apple cinnamon roll bake
2 packs cinnamon roll dough with icing
4 eggs
125ml cup milk
1 tbsp cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla extract
30g butter
2 granny smith apples, diced
200g brown sugar
Vanilla ice cream
Preheat oven to 375F/190C.
Cut the cinnamon roll dough into 3 even strips, then cut those strip in 3 pieces, making 9 pieces total per cinnamon roll. Set aside the icing.
In a medium bowl, combine eggs, milk, cinnamon, and extract, stirring until smooth. Set aside.
In a pan over medium heat, combine butter, apples, and brown sugar, cooking until sugar starts to caramelize, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat.
Sprinkle the cinnamon roll dough pieces evenly in a 9×9 baking tray. Pour the egg mixture on top, followed by the apples. Drizzle the reserved icing on top.
Bake for 25-30 minutes, until golden brown. Serve with ice cream!
Mindbogglingly wrong, and a tad creepy
The Party Doll Geisha Tomoko is without doubt the most unusual Orient Industry sex doll available. Not only does she look ravishing, you can squeeze her exquisite right breast and then the drink stored in the table compartment will come out of her left breast. Orient Industry has created a sex doll that is also a drink dispenser: the perfect party hostess.
A steal, at $20,000 USD
But wait, there’s more! They have a demonstration video! Complete with the waaaay-too-practiced pervy japanese Colonel Sanders: