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I slay myself
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Month: July 2017
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Pinball wizard
Or, more accurately, 2p amusement arcade wizard. He just needs to look at it and it barfs coins and sweets.
In vino veritas
Saw this at one of the vineyards we visited. Very appropriate.
Chili farm
I really was looking forward to visiting the chili farm and shop on the Isle of Wight. Unfortunately, it really bummed me out because almost all of the hot sauces had garlic in them. I mean, I must have looked at 30-40 different labels and couldn’t find anything that was allergy-friendly and looked appealing.
They did have a dried chili pick-n-mix, so at least I’ll be able to make my own insanity sauce.
The owl and the kite
Bobble looks scared for his life, but the kite is more interested in dismembering the dead chick in his talons. Chloe, the handler, looks on, bemused at the situation.
Gods walk into a bar…
Jesus: Are you sure he’s one of yours? Because I didn’t make him.
Satan: Please. Give me some credit. Even I have standards.
Jesus: Buddha? Brahma?
*both shrug their shoulders*
Satan: Gaia?
Gaia: *glowers*
Satan: Right, right, sorry. Forgot about the whole pussy grabbing thing.
Jesus: Cthulhu?
Cthulhu: What sort of monster do you take me for? *sips tea*
Satan: Well SOMEBODY cooked him up.
Flying Spaghetti Monster: …
Jesus: Wait… There’s no way you could…
Flying Spaghetti Monster: Look… It was my first time. I was a little drunk and someone asked for a ‘Tangerine Dream’ so I thought…
Satan: *faceplams* Fucking newbies.
How talking with Katy sometimes feels like
It’s the small pleasures in life
Happiness is a full English breakfast. It’s fat in many colours.
I rarely do this
But I bought a bottle of wine just for the label.
Haven’t I seen that packaging before?
