Typical conversation with the offspring these days:
I’m hungry.
So make yourself something.
But I’m in the middle of a game.
OK. What do you want?
I don’t know.
You’re really not helping.
*silence*
Fine, we have some hot-dog sausages that need to be eaten before they go bad. I’ll make you those.
*silence*
*grills hot-dogs on the bbq*
Right. Sausages are done. What do you want with them?
*mimes something*
What? I don’t understand. Come here, leave your [gaming console].
*yeling* I said just ketchup. I’m in the middle of a game and my friends could hear you. Just ketchup. I’m not that hungry.
*walks away, valiantly trying not to murder brattish child*
I fucking hate Fortnite.