Folded like a wet noodle…
Month: September 2021
[recipe] lemon cheesecake
150g digestive biscuits
75g butter
250g Philadelphia cream cheese
350g mascarpone
75g caster sugar
2 lemons, zested
2 lemons, juiced (about 90ml)
3 sheets of leaf gelatin
Crush the digestive biscuits in a food bag with a rolling pin or in the food processor. Melt the butter in microwave and stir into biscuit crumbs.
Line the base of a 20cm loose bottomed cake tin with baking parchment. Press the biscuit into the bottom of the tin and chill in the fridge while making the topping.
Hydrate the gelatin for 5 minutes and dissolve in 50ml of hot water. Let cool.
Beat together the cream cheese, mascarpone, caster sugar, lemon zest and juice, and gelatin until smooth and creamy. Spread over the base and chill for a couple of hours.
[recipe] slow cooker caramelised onions
1.5 kg white, yellow or red onions, peeled and thinly sliced
3 tbsp butter (or olive oil), melted
salt and pepper
1 tbsp brown sugar
2 tsp balsamic vinegar
Add onions to the bowl of your slow cooker. Drizzle the melted butter evenly over the top of them, then toss with a spoon (or with your hands) until the onions are evenly coated in the butter.
Cook on low for 8-10 hours, stirring once or twice if desired, until the onions are a rich golden brown and caramelized. Season with salt and pepper (and brown sugar and/or balsamic), and stir to combine.
If your onions are really juicy at this point, set the lid an inch or so ajar. If they are not, leave the lid on regularly to seal in the moisture. Continue cooking the onions for an additional 3-4 hours until most of the extra liquid has evaporated and the onions are a deep golden brown, and thick and “jammy”.
Serve the onions immediately, or cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days. Or freeze for up to 3 months.
Know Your Slow Cooker: These onions should be able to cook unattended for 10+ hours without any babysitting or stirring. (Although I do recommend stirring them once or twice if you can.) But that said, every slow cooker is different. And the low heat setting on yours could be hotter than most. So, as is good common sense with any slow cooking, I just recommend keeping watch especially during your first batch to be sure that the onions do not burn on the bottom.
[recipe] pickled cauliflower and mixed vegetables
1 tsp. coriander seeds
1 tsp. black or brown mustard seeds
1/2 tsp. cumin seeds
2 cups white wine vinegar
Three 1/4-inch-thick slices peeled fresh ginger
One-half small yellow onion, thinly sliced lengthwise
1/2 cup sugar
2 tbsp. kosher salt
1 tsp. black peppercorns
1/2 tsp. ground turmeric
1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
One-half head cauliflower, cut into 1-1/2- to 2-inch florets
5 medium carrots, peeled and sliced 1/2 inch thick on the diagonal
One-half red bell pepper, cut into large dice
Put the coriander, mustard, and cumin seeds in a small saucepan. Toast the spices over medium heat, swirling the pan occasionally, until fragrant and slightly darkened, about 2 minutes. Add the vinegar, ginger, onion, sugar, salt, peppercorns, turmeric, red pepper flakes, and 1 cup water to the toasted spices. Bring to a boil.
Pack the cauliflower, carrots, and bell pepper in a 2-qt. heat-resistant glass bowl or measuring cup. Pour the hot brine over the vegetables. Let cool to room temperature and then cover and refrigerate for at least 2 and up to 14 days.
[recipe] basic muffin recipe
2 medium eggs
125ml vegetable oil
250ml semi-skimmed milk
250g golden caster sugar
400g self-raising flour (or same quantity plain flour and 3 tsp baking powder)
1 tsp salt
100g chocolate chips
Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. Line 2 muffin trays with paper muffin cases. In a large bowl beat 2 medium eggs lightly with a handheld electric mixer for 1 min.
Add 125ml vegetable oil and 250ml semi-skimmed milk and beat until just combined then add 250g golden caster sugar and whisk until you have a smooth batter.
Sift in 400g self-raising flour and 1 tsp salt (or 400g plain flour and 3 tsp baking powder if using) then mix until just smooth. Be careful not to over-mix the batter as this will make the muffins tough.
Stir in 100g chocolate chips.
Fill muffin cases two-thirds full and bake for 20-25 mins, until risen, firm to the touch and a skewer inserted in the middle comes out clean. If the trays will not fit on 1 shelf, swap the shelves around after 15 mins of cooking.
Leave the muffins in the tin to cool for a few mins and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.
DOUBLE CHOCOLATE
If you want to make chocolate muffins, swap 100g of the self-raising flour for 100g cocoa powder and 1 tsp baking powder.
So a funny thing happened to my after breakfast yesterday…
It didn’t agree with me and a bad allergic reaction sent me to the ER. First time since 2019, but still not long enough for my peace of mind… It can be one of two things: sunflower seed butter (a peanut butter alternative I wanted to try) or French vanilla Nescafe instant coffee (which apparently now contains Chicory, which it didn’t used to before and can cause reactions to people allergic to ragweed, like myself).
So yeah. I was on my way to see my therapist. I felt fine enough, but then things went south rather quickly and happily a friend who lived nearby to the doctor’s office could drive me up to the ER. There, it was the usual rigmarole but things settled down quickly enough – I just had to spend 6h under observation to make sure there wasn’t a rebound flare-up again, even with the drugs.
While I was there, some time in the afternoon, something happened to break up the boredom. Here’s a chat extract between myself, Katy, and the guys at work:
Nurses in a bit of a tizzy, apparently someone did a runner and “escaped” through a window
And now there’s mention of calling the cops
It gets better!
It’s a lady
Who is tearing into cars and pedestrians with her cane
She’s just wearing a hospital gown
While on her rampage
Hospital staff are tailing her but won’t get too close
Doctors are scrounging for fast acting good drugs
Cops are in sight as well but no one wants to get near
There is lots of discussion on best to grab, sedate, restrain and get her back here
She has a weapon. Maybe a tazer or a trank gun.
Drama! They caught her.
They brought her back to the ER. I can hear her yell that she’s a terrorist… Except she sounds like a disturbed older white lady.
Who is now yelling that she is Satan the devil’s son, she needs her drugs and wants to go to jail
And you thought the afternoon would be dull.
She’s right outside my cubicle.
They have her in restraints I’m assuming?
I can hear handcuffs rattling.
Next hour is going to be different…
She says she’s a junkie and wants more drugs. That’s where she was going – to buy some.
Sounds like she was on a hell of a combo.
Whatever she’s on, it’s not the good shit.
She’s in a different ward and I can still hear her yell her head off
They need to give her something ending in -pam
Maybe she just needs a nice hot cup of tea?
She’s not in her happy place
Just yelling herself hoarse screaming I WANT MY DRUGS
I hope the restraints on her bed are solid. That kind of crazy can be dangerous…
I guess she just need someone to talk with
you should go and talk to her
I’m still plugged into the matrix
And besides, something tells me she’s not in the mood got chit chat.
I’ll go talk to her if she’ll share her drugs.
I don’t think you want what she had
These don’t seem the I love you man everything is beautiful sort of drugs
More like the THERE ARE SPIDERS ALL OVER MY BRAIN sort
I’d avoid those.
They don’t taste nice.
[recipe] super-moist vanilla cake
300 g plain / all purpose flour
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
4 large eggs (50–55g each, incl shell), at room temp
300 g caster sugar
115g unsalted butter
250 ml milk , full fat
3 tsp vanilla extract
3 tsp vegetable or canola oil
PREPARATION:
Preheat oven to 180°C/350°F (160°C fan) for 20 minutes before starting the batter. Place shelf in the middle of the oven.
Grease 2 x 20cm / 8” cake pans with butter, then line with parchment / baking paper. The batter is quite loose, best to use cake pan without loose base, if you can.
Whisk flour, baking powder and salt in a large bowl. Set aside.
Beat eggs for 30 seconds on speed 6 of a Stand Mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, or hand beater.
With the beater still going, pour the sugar in over 45 seconds.
Then beat for 7 minutes on speed 8, or until tripled in volume and white.
While egg is beating, place butter and milk in a heatproof jug and microwave 2 minutes on high to melt butter (or use stove). Do not let milk bubble and boil (foam ok). Don’t do this ahead and let the milk cool (this affects rise).
When the egg is whipped, scatter 1/3 flour across surface, then beat on Speed 1 for 5 seconds.
Add half remaining flour, then mix on Speed 1 for 5 sec. Add remaining flour, then mix on Speed 1 for 5 – 10 sec until the flour is just mixed in. Once you can’t see flour, stop straight away.
Pour hot milk, vanilla and oil into the now empty flour bowl. Add about 1 1/2 cups (2 ladles or so) of the Egg Batter into the Milk-Butter (don’t need to be 100% accurate with amount). Use a whisk to mix until smooth – you can be vigorous here. Will look foamy. This tempers the milk and will prevent batter from splitting.
Turn beater back on Speed 1 then pour the Milk mixture into the Egg Batter over 15 seconds, then turn beater off.
Scrape down sides and base of bowl. Beat on Speed 1 for 10 seconds – batter should now be smooth and pourable.
Pour batter into pans.
Bang each cake pan on the counter 3 times to knock out big bubbles.
Bake 30 minutes or until golden and toothpick inserted into centre comes out clean.
Cool in cake pans for 15 minutes, then gently turn out onto cooling racks. If using as layer cakes, cool upside down – slight dome will flatten perfectly.
Need to manage myself
Our family therapist commented that everything in our life seems to revolve around Ben. Everything we do is to try and manage, accommodate or react to him. Katy is burnt out, I’m heading that way. An insidious example of this is sleep. No matter how tired I am, my body wakes me up at 5am, to make sure Ben doesn’t sleep through his alarm. I can’t make myself not do this. And I hate that it happens.