Author: admin

I went to bed way the hell too late last night, and it's all Michel's fault. He twisted my arm to go do something that, while really fun, is catching up with me today.

Dinner was most excellent.

The chicken was golden and tender and juicy, the soup like liquid velvet, the pasta salad nice zesty. All in all, one of my better meals :) It was very well received, and my sister loved it, so it was worth the effort. I still have mountains of dishes to do, but seeing as I *always* have mountains of dishes, that's not a big concern right now.

Today involves Ikea goodness, and then I'm making a batch of pasta sauce. Nummy! You're all invited for dinner :D

It's 5:30 pm and I just managed catch my breath today. It's my own damn fault, really, but still. It all started last night, when I went to a party at saucylaur's place. Now given that I didn't know anybody there, and I'd never actually even met the hostess, even showing up was a big thing for little ol' introverted me. Must mean I'm growing up, as the me of even a few years ago would never have had the chutzpah to have gone :D

I had a really fun time, and came back with a fridge magnet^†, some very interesting quotes^‡ and a bit of a hangover this morning :) Not a big one, as one of the good things about being an old fart is the ability to judge when you need to stop killing braincells, but advil was my friend this morning. It's been quite a while since I've been in that altered a state :P

That last part kinda hindered my morning, which made me late for other things, chief among them being cooking for Nat. I scrambled to do my groceries, my laundry, my dishes and get my stuffing cooked. Right now, the chicken is cooking away, and as soon as I finish writing this, I'll go start the pasta salad.

It's a beautiful day outside, all the windows in the apartment are opened, and it smells really good in my kitchen. Life is good.

† All part of my fiendish master plan
‡ Including, but not limited to, cooking eggs naked in the kitchen of a russian jew, beastial anal sex, vagina descriptions and a band called “ass attack”.

A shepherd is demanding a refund after he swapped his prize goat for a friend's wife – only to have her run back to her husband three months later.

Todor Mitevski struck the deal when friend Vladimir Petrov complained his wife, Katya, had failed to produce children and was stupid.

When his wife came back, Mr Petrov told police in Bulgaria: 'I'm keeping the goat – he's welcome to the wife if he can get her to go back.'

Man, I'm addicted to coffee. It's sad. I've been trying to switch over to decaf for close to two weeks now. The good news is that the caffeine headaches are over. The bad news is that I can't get up in the morning anymore. It's 11am and I just got into the office. That's sad… I whimped out and went to starbucks to get a cuppa. Just a few sips and I can feel the cobwebs clearing up and the ol' synapses firing again. I suck.

25.03.2004
By JIM EAGLES, travel editor
How would you fancy the chance to fire a rocket-launcher at a cow? Or an anti-aircraft gun at a chicken? They are among the special attractions on offer to tourists in the Cambodian capital of Phnom Penh.

I think that tops off the parasite museum, sewer tours, turtle races, asylum-hotels and bone sculptures in the list of weird tourist attractions sent in by readers in response to the story about Flight Centre's Top 10 Strangest Tourist Attractions.

Tim Mitchelson discovered the Cambodian Army's jolly little foray into the entertainment industry when his taxi driver in Phnom Penh asked if he would like to try his hand at firing an assault rifle.

“Replying in the affirmative, I was driven to a nearby Army base, where I was met by a young soldier with a price list,” he says.

“These guys had everything under the sun: pistols, grenades, machineguns, anti-aircraft guns, and – of course – rocket-launchers. Asked if I got to shoot at anything, they offered me a choice of a coconut, a chicken or a cow.

“Pressing them further on price, they announced their special combo was a cow and a rocket-launcher for US$400: US$200 for each. On the bright side, you got to keep your US$200 for the cow if you missed. I settled for the machinegun and the coconut.”

But if you want to take the armaments home, Somalia is the place to head for.

The Economist magazine reports that, “Brave tourists can find unusual bargains in Mogadishu. In the market a hand grenade sells for US$10, a howitzer for US$20,000.” Weirder still, it also reports that Somalia, which has a Minister of Tourism, has officially not had a single tourist for 14 years.

The minister, Abdi Jimale Osman, can't understand this. “I'm sure tourists would leave Somalia alive and I'm hopeful they wouldn't be kidnapped,” he is reported as saying. “At least, we would try to make sure they were not kidnapped, though it can happen.”

Runner-up in the weirdness stakes would have to be the Parasite Museum in Meguro, Tokyo, which displays 300 varieties of parasites that have been found in humans. Charlie Eng, who discovered it while she was living in Japan says, “Its house, a very small, unassuming building, looks so normal, in fact, it's easy to miss.

“The definite highlight is the 9m long tapeworm that was found growing in some poor man's stomach after eating some dodgy sashimi [you can put your nose right up to the glass and see every detailed inch of it]. Oh, yes, you can buy souvenir T-shirts there, and best of all it's free.”

Apparently the Parasite Museum is a popular destination for young dating couples. You can get more information about it at www.greggman.com/japan/kiseichuu/kiseichuu.htm .

Then there is the Penis Park outside the Fisherman's Museum in Sinnam on the east coast of South Korea. Martin Robinson says the park is “packed with giant wooden penises carved in fanciful designs. Every July a Penis Festival is held when more are carved and added to the park collection.”

But, Robinson adds, “You don't have to leave New Zealand to visit strange tourist attractions. Seacliff Asylum, 30km north of Dunedin, used to house psychiatric patients, including author Janet Frame. You can tour what's left of the asylum and even sleep there as part of it has been converted into a backpackers.”

When it comes to weird places to stay, however, Alex Robertson recalls a hotel in New York which has “very interestingly designed rooms with no two the same.

“I stayed in one that had a mannequin embedded in the bathroom door, so that it greeted you on your way into the bathroom and you stared at it's backside while on the loo.”

For those who like their accommodation on the unusual side he recommends: www.hostels.com/tt/weirdhostels.html

And for anyone whose appetite was whetted by reference in an earlier article to tours of the Parisian sewers, Robertson suggests a visit to www.ooze.com/sewer/howto.html. It has details of sewer tours, with a couple of toilet tours thrown in for good measure, in most of the major cities of Europe.

Amanda Davie came across a strange tourist attraction during a train journey to Flam in the Norwegian fiords. “During part of the train journey we pulled up at a large platform in front of a waterfall and everyone got out,” she says.

“All of a sudden this music started blaring from somewhere and way up at the top of the waterfall from behind a boulder this woman dressed in a red costume appeared. She wiggled her hips a little then disappeared back behind the boulder.

“Then another woman appeared, dressed the same, this time further down the waterfall. They did this alternately for a while then the music stopped and that was it. We were a bit confused but afterwards we saw posters of the performance on the train and realised it must be a tourist attraction.”

Larraine Stevenson was greatly taken by the turtle racing offered by a bar in Santa Monica every Tuesday night. “Patrons go out a side door to the race track which is surrounded with wooden grandstands.

“The turtles that are racing are placed in the centre of the circle covered with a container. When all bets have been placed the cover is lifted and the turtles race to the edge.”

She also recommends the cemeteries under Paris. “Apparently, all the bones were shifted there during some war or other. They are arranged in fantastic patterns, such as skull and crossbones, houses, boats, etc.”

Then there is the Museo delle Mummie which Linley Downey found in the village of Ferentillo a couple of hours' drive from Rome.

“In the crypt of the church San Stefano are different types of corpses which have been preserved by accident. Apparently they have been dried and preserved by the sandy soil conditions and the wind from the south.

“Just inside the door were two French soldiers hanged during the Napoleonic wars. They were just hanging there and you could tell exactly where the rope had been. There was a dwarf, a mother who died in childbirth with her baby lying next to her, a soldier bolt upright with his gun, a local lawyer shot in a feud and another man shot through the stomach in the same feud.”

Siobhan O'Donovan found something similar in the catacombs of Palermo in Sicily.

“Once inside it was pretty freaky. Bodies were literally hanging from and standing up against the walls. Others were stacked on shelves like books in a library.

“There were probably around 200 bodies in total. Some were very well preserved, some were not. Most were clothed. The strangest were the little children, one or two no more than babies, still with bowed legs and enormous heads. One baby was so well preserved that, but for the cold, you might have thought it was asleep.

“I left the catacombs and was flashed at by a man in a nasty, dirty white Bambina. All in all an unforgettable day.”

It surely is a weird and wonderful world out there.

I think I need to get a new prescription for my glasses. They've been giving me headaches for a while now, and really tiring my eyes out during the day. Anybody know a good ophtalmologist in town?

It's the latest toy to hit the shelves! The Dishonest Dubya Lying Action Figure!!!

Go buy one now!!!

http://www.flubu.com/flash/dubya.html

Had drinks with eniran last night, which is always good for a laugh or ten. We went to Hurleys, and it was a slow night, so we were able to get the seats near the fireplace. A very fun way to kill some braincells. Hmmmm, beer. At one point, a song I've heard a few times (but only at Hurley's) came on. It's on a CD by Kevin Quain and the Mad Bastards.

The song is called Mr. Valentine's Dead, and it's one of the funniest things I've heard in a while. The fact that it's a kick-ass song in its own right is not to be looked over. Click here to view a bit of the music video from the song. You need quicktime to view the video.