Taking a pootle to stretch out legs along the lakeside, Katy and I ran into a juvenile cygnet just standing in the middle of walking path, looking bemused but otherwise fine. People are walking around it, dogs are walking right up to it, nothing registers. We stood there for a good 5 minutes looking at it. It’s not obviously in distress, but this ain’t normal swanish behaviour. We called the Morges police and they said they woukd send someone ’round to have a look. We carried on with our walk and it was still there on the way back, except now it’d gone for a massive dump and was now taking a nap…
[recipe] Cornish pasties
350g good-quality beef skirt, rump steak or braising steak
350g waxy potatoes
200g swede
175g onions
salt and freshly ground black pepper
knob of butter or margarine
Two rounds of pre-made shortcrust pastry
Peel and cut the potato, swede and onion into cubes about 1cm square. Cut the beef into similar sized chunks. Put all four ingredients into a bowl and mix. Season well with salt and some freshly ground black pepper, then put the filling to one side.
Lightly grease a baking tray with margarine (or butter) and line with baking or silicone paper (not greaseproof).
Preheat the oven to 170C (150C fan assisted)/325F/Gas 3.
Divide the dough into four equal-sized pieces. Shape each piece into a ball and use a rolling pin to roll each ball into a disc roughly 25cm/10in wide (roughly the same size as a dinner plate).
Spoon a quarter of the filling onto each disc. Spread the filling on one half of the disc, leaving the other half clear. Put a knob of butter or margarine on top of the filling.
Carefully fold the pastry over, join the edges and push with your fingers to seal. Crimp the edge to make sure the filling is held inside – either by using a fork, or by making small twists along the sealed edge. Traditionally Cornish pasties have around 20 crimps. When you’ve crimped along the edge, fold the end corners underneath.
Put the pasties onto the baking tray and brush the top of each pasty with the egg and salt mixture. Bake on the middle shelf of the oven for about 45 minutes or until the pasties are golden-brown. If your pasties aren’t browning, increase the oven temperature by 10C/25F for the last 10 minutes of cooking time.
Christmas dinner, done
Breakfast of champions
[recipe] chocolate cake
420g plain flour
630g white granulated sugar
100g unsweetened cocoa powder
2 tsp baking powder
5g teaspoon salt,
160ml vegetable oil
2 large eggs
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract, (20 ml)
380ml milk
380ml boiling water mixed with 2 teaspoons instant coffee powder
Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Lightly grease two 9-inch. Line base with parchment paper.
Combine flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt in a large bowl. Whisk thoroughly to combine well.
Add oil, egg, vanilla and milk to the flour mixture and beat well to combine, about 30 seconds. Pour in the boiling water (with the coffee), and mix until glossy. (Cake batter is very thin in consistency.)
Pour the cake batter into the prepared pan. Bake for about 40-45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre of the chocolate cake comes out semi-clean with small amount of cake (not runny batter) on it due to the fudgy texture.
Remove from oven and allow to cool for 20 minutes. Transfer cake from the pan to a wire rack and cool completely before frosting.
Speaking tween
40 revolutions around the sun
One small difference between the Swiss and the rest of the world
Pay with anything bigger than a 20£ note in the UK? Suspicious glare and 15 different counterfeit tests.
Pay with a 50$ bill in Canada? I’m sorry, we don’t take monopoly money.
Buy a pack of gum with a 200chf bill? That’ll be 198.50chf change, have a good day!
Try and withdraw 500$? Canada bank says hells no.
Try and withdraw 300£? UK bank says hells no.
Try and withdraw 3000chf? Swiss bank says big or small bills? (and by big bills, I mean 3 x 1000chf bills)
[recipe] Mushroom pâté
2 tablespoons olive oil
50g butter
450g mushrooms, roughly chopped
1 small shallot, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tsp garam masala
100ml port
125g ricotta
To a large sauté pan over medium heat, add the oil and butter and heat until it starts to bubble. Add the mushrooms and cook until they start to brown, stirring. Add the shallots and sauté, until they begin to soften, 3-4 minutes. Add the garam masala, salt and pepper stir and cook for 2 minutes. Add port and let simmer, reduce by half, 5-8 minutes. Set aside to cool for 10 minutes.
Add the mushroom mix to a food processor along with the ricotta and blend until smooth, taste for seasoning.
Transfer to ramekins or container with a lid and refrigerate for 30 minutes until set.