There seems to be a whole lot happening around me these days, and I'm feeling more and more like I'm reacting to it (badly) instead of actively participating in it. I feel like a bystandard in my own life. Recently, I can't seem to shake the feeling I have that I'm drifting along, but I don't know what to do about it. All I want to do is stay home and read.
Tag: ducks
I hate it when this happens
Spending an hour listening to two german interns talking about their student project in heavily accented english while sitting in direct sunlight in a generally warm room is not a good thing when you've hardly slept the night before. I kept nodding off and doing the whole head-bobbing thing. Uncool.
February has been a shit month
The month is over and I'm glad it is. Looking back on it, February has been a shockingly bad month. Craptaculous, even. Katy was sick. Tokyo was cancelled. We both had a case of the grumps. The fridge decided to pack it in and blew up† and now the laptop is showing signs of imminent total graphics controller failure.
I can only say:
†We had a power cut last Wednesday that was supposed to last 2 hours but ended up lasting about 15. When the power came back on, it did something that the fridge didn't like. It started making a really loud clicking noise and was pronounced dead the following evening when we realized that everything in the freezer had defrosted. It's not too bad – we managed to salvage most of the meat by making huuuuuuuuuge meals and keeping stuff in the office fridge. We only lost about £70 worth of food (an average weekly shop). The really annoying thing though is that even though it's all under warranty, they can't send an engineer over until next Tuesday. So yeah. No fridge. Fun…..
Not with the program today
I am not awake, nor do I want to be right now.
I keep thinking to myself “don't forget to do this, don't forget to do that” and in the next thought, completely forgetting what I was telling myself not to forget.
My portable HD hasn't arrived yet. Nor have all the other items we've bought and had delivered to the office.
The japanese travel agent that was handling my flight to tokyo is being a PITA and I can't be bothered to deal with them anymore.
All in all, I'm in a rather bad mood today.
Ho hum
I've realized that I'm feeling very blah at the moment. Part of it is probably due to the February blues, but I think there's a bit more. I've been having a lot of very weird and sometimes distrubing dreams lately (though I blame Pam's curry for a batch of those) and I find that I'm not as productive as work as I'd like (now having said that, I can still slam out some bitchin' code when I feel like it – I just don't seem to feel like it as often as I did these days).
I dunno. Sometimes it feels like I'm so anxious about getting the 5-year plan mapped out that I'm missing the day-to-day fun stuff. Thoughts about having kids, buying a house, staying in the UK or going back to Canada post-EBI, yada yada are sometimes a bit heavy going.
I sometimes wish I could somehow throw my hands in the air, say sod it all and take a reality break for a few weeks. I dunno, just hop on a plane with Katy for a long trip just the two of us, and no other worries.
But then reality kicks back in and tells me that I need to get this new code into production before the end of the week.
Yay.
Been a rough couple of days…
The last week has been a bit rough. I cancelled my trip to Japan hours before I was scheduled to leave. Katy was feeling very unwell and, though it had the potential to be something very serious, tests have now shown it was just side effects of coming off the pill. I don't regret the decision I made and would have done the same thing again, but I am still a bit bummed about not going. Katy's still feeling less than stellar. The hormone changes, coupled with stress about not really knowing what's happening, are playing havoc with her mood and her stomach. I'm not all that far behind, to be honest. It's a good thing that we've taken thursday and friday off. A 3-day week and a 4-day weekend are sorely called for.
A sign of things to come
I have just been cold-called for a mortgage offer.
In October 2005, before deciding to move to Hinxton, Katy and I called a few places to see what our chances of getting a mortgage were. This was in the era where people were giving money away hand over fist. We were told at the time that our prospects were not suitable (mostly because of my work visa shit). At the time, I had over 2 years left on my visa, but that was still not enough to satisfy the bankers.
Today, there are less than 6 months on my visa (now granted, it's going to be renewed without contest as soon as I get my passport renewed, but they don't know that) but apparently, my “circumstances” have changed enough that the mortgage company that called me at the office is really interested in offering me a free, no-risk mortgage consultation. They were reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllly interested. As in, almost begging.
The fact that the housing market is close to a meltdown has nothing to do with this.
Of course not.
You cynical people.
The weekend can't come soon enough
I don't know why, but I'm so tired today I can't think straight. It's been a loooong week and, at times, not a very good one. I think that I've caught whatever bug took Katy down last week. Hopefully, it won't be as bad. I feel like I haven't had a good night's sleep in too long and it's making me a bit braindead. I've been staring at my screen trying to fire up enough neurons to start some debugging, but it's not working. I just want to go home and go to bed. Sadly, the universe doesn't work that way.
Fooey.
Not a morning person
I'll be the first to admit that I am not a morning person.
Seriously, I'm not.
My normal morning routine is to snuggle next to Katy until the snooze button has been smacked a few times, then go downstairs to make tea and get breakfast ready. I'll watch the news, wave Katy off to work and then sometimes make myself another cup of tea while I check my email. I'll get dressed and mosey on off to work.
This, I find, is a gentle way to get ready for work.
Giving a shit-covered cat a shower at 7:30 in the morning is not, I repeat, not a preferred way to start the day. It happens to rank quite highly in my most-unpleasant-things-to-do-before-tea list of badness…
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
The Japanese Kodo drummers are touring Europe next year. Unfortunately, they're only doing one show in London.
On a Tuesday.
This sucks.