We could write a Kafkaesque (*) novel for IT people about this software installation…
(*) Basically it describes a nightmarish situation which most people can somehow relate to, although strongly surreal.
The beaver is a proud and noble animal
Notes from a bemused canuck
We could write a Kafkaesque (*) novel for IT people about this software installation…
(*) Basically it describes a nightmarish situation which most people can somehow relate to, although strongly surreal.
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Woot! I have successfully registered cote.guru as a domain, and also have richard@cote.guru as a mail address (that currently forwards to my gmail account. So, if there’s any member of the Cote family that wants an email account, let me know :)
The Colossus computer that helped decipher German messages during the Second World War celebrates its 70th birthday on Wednesday, as The National Museum of Computing marks its place in IT history. The machine first sprang into life on 5 February 1944 when it was let loose on messages that had been sent by German units and encrypted using the Lorenz machine. The Colossus – designed by engineer called Tommy Flowers who worked for the telecoms division of the General Post Office, which later became BT – was able to crack these codes fast.
It had the ability to read 5,000 characters a second, far in advance of anything else available at that time, and this meant it could take just four hours for it to find the first key in a code, the most important part in any code-breaking. By the end of the war, it is estimated that Colossus had deciphered 63 million characters of German messages, helping shorten the war and save countless lives. Despite this, its existence was kept secret for 30 years after the war.
The machine certainly earned its name: it was huge. It measured 7ft high, 17ft wide and 11ft deep, weighed five tonnes and had 7km of internal wiring.
I discovered a new concept today – even though it’s been around for a while now, it’s still new to me :) It’s called Powerpoint Karaoke. It’s a spin-off from the traditional Karaoke, however instead of singing songs, the participants must present an impromptu presentation based on a random presentation, projected on a screen, to an audience. The presentations can come from a sampling of images collected locally or by randomly downloading from the Internet.
The rules:
1. Participants get five minutes to speak
2. The slide decks are made by the facilitator/host
3. The slides auto advance every 15 seconds
4. There are no other rules
5. Audience votes on the winner
You have to play for comedy. There is no way to take the slides seriously since by design they are ridiculous. At best you are making the audience laugh, at worst they watch in silence as you struggle on stage. It’s purely stunt presenting. No one is there to learn or be inspired, at least not directly. There’s an element of wanting to watch cars crash in this event. It’s all in good fun, but also schadenfreudian. There is no way to be good at this. This is liberating. It really is more like experimental theater than anything like a public speech.
Here’s an example of 4 battle decks. Enjoy :)
The contest:
The corporate legal response:
The two finger salute:
Derek Lowe is an organic chemist. He’s worked for several major pharmaceutical companies since 1989 on drug discovery projects against schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, diabetes, osteoporosis and other diseases. He also has a very amusing blog that contains, among other gems, a comprehensive list of things he’ll never work with.
http://pipeline.corante.com/archives/things_i_wont_work_with/
Some choice quotes:
Mercury Azides: Explosions are definitely underappreciated as a mixing technique, but in this case, they are keeping you from forming any larger crystals, a development which the paper says, with feeling, “should be avoided by all means”.
Azidoazide Azides: We’re talking high-nitrogen compounds here, and the question is not whether such things are going to be explosive hazards. (That’s been settled by their empirical formulas, which generally look like typographical errors). The question is whether you’re going to be able to get a long enough look at the material before it realizes its dream of turning into an expanding cloud of hot nitrogen gas.
Selenophenol: The chemical literature has numerous examples of people who are at a loss for words when it comes to describing its smell, but their attempts are eloquent all the same. “Imagine 6 skunks wrapped in rubber innertubes and the whole thing is set ablaze. That might approach the metaphysical stench of this material.” So we’ll start with that.
Hexanitrohexaazaisowurtzitane: There’s a recent report of a method to make a more stable form of it, by mixing it with TNT. Yes, this is an example of something that becomes less explosive as a one-to-one cocrystal with TNT. Although, as the authors point out, if you heat those crystals up the two components separate out, and you’re left with crystals of pure CL-20 soaking in liquid TNT, a situation that will heighten your awareness of the fleeting nature of life.
Dioxygen Difluoride: At seven hundred freaking degrees, fluorine starts to dissociate into monoatomic radicals, thereby losing its gentle and forgiving nature. But that’s how you get it to react with oxygen to make a product that’s worse in pretty much every way.
Chalcogen Polyazides: The experimental section of the paper enjoins the reader to wear a face shield, leather suit, and ear plugs, to work behind all sorts of blast shields, and to use Teflon and stainless steel apparatus so as to minimize shrapnel.
Chlorine Trifluoride: It is apparently about the most vigorous fluorinating agent known, and is much more difficult to handle than fluorine gas. That’s one of those statements you don’t get to hear very often. The compound also a stronger oxidizing agent than oxygen itself, which also puts it into rare territory. ”It is, of course, extremely toxic, but that’s the least of the problem. It is hypergolic with every known fuel, and so rapidly hypergolic that no ignition delay has ever been measured. It is also hypergolic with such things as cloth, wood, and test engineers, not to mention asbestos, sand, and water-with which it reacts explosively. It can be kept in some of the ordinary structural metals-steel, copper, aluminium, etc.-because of the formation of a thin film of insoluble metal fluoride which protects the bulk of the metal, just as the invisible coat of oxide on aluminium keeps it from burning up in the atmosphere. If, however, this coat is melted or scrubbed off, and has no chance to reform, the operator is confronted with the problem of coping with a metal-fluorine fire. For dealing with this situation, I have always recommended a good pair of running shoes.”
People end up on my blog for the weirdest of reasons. This weekend, besides the usual classics of “porn”, “good friends are like stars” and “Michel Roux Sr lemon tart”, I had two very unusual search terms direct people to my little corner of the internet. One was slope of boob jobs, which pointed to a funny article about a plastic surgeon who studied page 3 models to determine the best shape and size of boob jobs (imagine writing a grant for that one!) and… klingon porn.
That one pointed to a veeeeeery old (circa 2004) story that was exported from Livejournal. Sadly, the link it contained was long dead, but thanks to the Wayback Machine, I have managed to save the images of naughty naked Klingon beauties for posterity.
Go have a look if you want. Of course, the entry is completely NSFW :) https://www.flubu.com/blog/2004/09/16/klingon-porn/