Katy brought me back a little present from England. Yay!
Tag: god save the queen
Duck Wearing Bow-Tie Walks Into Pub, Drinks Pint, Fights Dog, Loses
This. This is an actual headline. This is why I love England.
From the article:
A bow-tie wearing duck has been injured in a drunken pub brawl with a local dog in Chulmleigh, Devon. The booze-loving bird, affectionately named Star, was enjoying a pint in The Old Courthouse Inn with his handler, Barrie Hayman, when Hayman’s canine Meggie sparked a bar brawl. Star was left with injuries to his beak after the fight.
“Star pushed his luck too far and Meggie snapped – splitting Star’s bottom beak right down the middle,” Hayman, 69, told the Cheddar Valley Gazette. “He gave her a stare, then promptly stood on her back. It was not pretty and not nice. We were so scared we would lose Star. He had to be rushed to the vets and go under anaesthetic, which is always risky and could go either way with ducks and other small animals. Thankfully our Star is a tough cookie and it looks like he came out okay.”
Hayman has cared for Star ever since he was a chick, carrying him around in his pocket. Once the duckling grew up, he developed a taste for real ale and started following his owner to the pub. “He just won’t leave me and so we go everywhere together,” Hayman said. “I’ve not trained him to follow me. He just seems to like it and he is one fantastic duck. He loves to come to the pub, where everyone loves him. He is such a personality and attracts so much attention.”
How to make a soundbite that is completely meaningless
Prime Minister David Cameron says that if online pornographers don’t voluntarily install effective age-restricted controls on their websites he’ll introduce legislation that will close them down altogether. A recent Childline poll found nearly 10% of 12-13-year-olds were worried they were addicted to pornography and 18% had seen shocking or upsetting images. The minister for internet safety and security, Joanna Shields, said: “As a result of our work with industry, more than 90% of UK consumers are offered the choice to easily configure their internet service through family-friendly filters – something we take great pride in having achieved. It’s a gold standard that surpasses those of other countries. Whilst great progress has been made, we remain acutely aware of the risks and dangers that young people face online. This is why we are committed to taking action to protect children from harmful content. Companies delivering adult content in the UK must take steps to make sure these sites are behind age verification controls.”
So basically, if you run a porn site in the UK, move it. Oh, and those family-friendly filters? Think again.
UK election 2015 recap
Seriously, UK? Seriously? Good jorb, idiots…
30 things British people say and what they actually mean
- “I might join you later” – I’m not leaving the house today unless it’s on fire.
- “Excuse me, sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – You have 3 seconds to move your bag before I end you.
- “Not to worry” – I will never forget this.
- Saying sorry as a way of introducing yourself.
- “Bit wet out there” – You’re going to need a snorkel because it’s absolutely pissing it down.
- Ending an email with “Thanks” as a warning that you’re perilously close to losing your temper.
- “Right then, I suppose I really should start thinking about possibly making a move” – Bye.
- “It’s fine” – It really could not possibly get any worse, but no doubt it will do.
- “Perfect” – Well, that’s ruined then.
- “A bit of a pickle” – A catastrophically bad situation with potentially fatal consequences.
- “Hot too bad, actually” – I’m probably the happiest I’ve ever been.
- “Honestly, it doesn’t matter” – Nothing has ever mattered more than this.
- “You’ve caught the sun” – You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.
- “That’s certainly one way of looking at it” – That’s certainly the wrong way of looking at it.
- Saying “I have the 5p if it helps?” and never being quite sure if it helps.
- “If you say so” – I’m afraid that what you’re saying is the height of idiocy.
- “With all due respect” – You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.
- Saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible to people that don’t say thank you buy using it as a form of punishing them.
- “I beg your pardon” – 1. I didn’t hear you. 2. I apologize. 3. What you’re saying is making me absolutely livid.
- “It could be worse” – It couldn’t possibly be any worse.
- “Each to their own” – You’re wrong, but never mind.
- “Pop round anytime” – Stay away from my house.
- “I’m just popping out for lunch, does anyone want anything?” – I’m getting my own lunch now, please remain silent.
- Saying “I might get some cash out actually”, despite approaching the cash machine and being 100% of getting cash.
- “No, no, honestly, my fault” – It was exceedingly tour fault and we both know it.
- “No yeah that’s very interesting” – You’re boring me to death.
- “Just whenever you get a minute” – NOW!
- “No harm done” – You have caused complete and utter chaos.
- “I’m sure it’ll be fine” – I fully expect the situation to deteriorate rapidly.
- “Sorry, I think you might have dropped something” – You have definitively dropped that specific item.
Britain is still ‘deeply elitist’ says major new report
Only 7% of members of the public attended a private school. But 71% of senior judges, 62% of senior officers in the armed forces, 55% of permanent secretaries in Whitehall, 53% of senior diplomats, 50% of members of the House of Lords and 45% of public body chairs did so. So too did 44% of people on the Sunday Times Rich List, 43% of newspaper columnists, 36% of cabinet ministers, 33% of MPs, 26% of BBC executives and 22% of shadow cabinet ministers.
Oxbridge graduates also have a stranglehold on top jobs. They comprise less than 1% of the public as a whole, but 75% of senior judges, 59% of cabinet ministers, 57% of permanent secretaries, 50% of diplomats, 47% of newspaper columnists, 44% of public body chairs, 38% of members of the House of Lords, 33% of BBC executives, 33% of shadow cabinet ministers, 24% of MPs and 12% of those on the Sunday Times Rich List.
Source: http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/aug/28/closed-shop-deepy-elitist-britain
I’m annoyed that I missed it :(
For most of July, a contingent from Canada’s fabled Royal 22nd Regiment, about 70 guardsmen, is standing on guard for the Queen.
It’s the first time the francophone regiment has stood guard at Buckingham Palace since 1940, when it was done at the request of King George VI, father of Queen Elizabeth. That also marked the first time the King’s Guard Sentinels got commands not only from a non-British unit but also in French. The changing of the guard ceremony, which is a must-see for tourists besides being a famous military ritual, consists of the old guard handing over responsibility for Buckingham Palace’s safety to the new guard. The responsibility is given to active infantry regiments who have shown discipline and precision in their movements.
Do you have any liquids in your luggage?
Just a few, but they went into the hold so it’s all good :-) that ought to last us a few weeks…
Religion is a personal issue, and it should stay that way
Mr Cameron said earlier this month, in an article for the Church Times, that Christians should be “confident” in standing up to defend their values.
The prime minister also spoke of his faith in his Easter message, saying he found “peace” in Christianity.
Referring to a 2011 speech in which he made his comments about Christianity, the Downing Street spokeswoman said: “As the PM set out in his speech to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the King James Bible, the UK is a Christian country and should not be afraid to say so.
This is particularly worrisome, especially after seeing how GWB’s US cabinet was essentially a prayer circle, pushing a fundamentalist-like Christian agenda. We saw how well that went. Fundies, of any flavour, scare me. It’s impossible to have a rational debate with someone whose answer is “because God says so”. When the person using that argument is the leader of the country… I still remember being horrified when Dubya said he was doing God’s work. Now, Cameron is calling himself an agent of God. Don’t get me wrong, I have no issues with his faith. The issues I have are with him using his position and influence to push it into the public eye, where it doesn’t belong.
In a letter to the Telegraph, scientists, authors and academics have voiced their concerns in a, IMHO, well written rebuke to Cameron:
Most Britons are not Christians
SIR – We respect the Prime Minister’s right to his religious beliefs and the fact that they necessarily affect his own life as a politician. However, we object to his characterisation of Britain as a “Christian country” and the negative consequences for politics and society that this engenders.
Apart from in the narrow constitutional sense that we continue to have an established Church, Britain is not a “Christian country”. Repeated surveys, polls and studies show that most of us as individuals are not Christian in our beliefs or our religious identities.
Constantly to claim otherwise fosters alienation and division in our society. Although it is right to recognise the contribution made by many Christians to social action, it is wrong to try to exceptionalise their contribution when it is equalled by British people of different beliefs. This needlessly fuels enervating sectarian debates that are by and large absent from the lives of most British people, who do not want religions or religious identities to be actively prioritised by their elected government.
Professor Jim Al-Khalil
Philip Pullman
Tim Minchin
Dr Simon Singh
Ken Follett
Dr Adam Rutherford
Sir John Sulston
Sir David Smith
Professor Jonathan Glover
Professor Anthony Grayling
Nick Ross
Virginia Ironside
Professor Steven Rose
Natalie Haynes
Peter Tatchell
Professor Raymond Tallis
Dr Iolo ap Gwynn
Stephen Volk
Professor Steve Jones
Sir Terry Pratchett
Dr Evan Harris
Dr Richard Bartle
Sian Berry
C J De Mooi
Professor John A Lee
Professor Richard Norman
Zoe Margolis
Joan Smith
Michael Gore
Derek McAuley
Lorraine Barratt
Dr Susan Blackmore
Dr Harry Stopes-Roe
Sir Geoffrey Bindman QC
Adele Anderson
Dr Helena Cronin
Professor Alice Roberts
Professor Chris French
Sir Tom Blundell
Maureen Duffy
Baroness Whitaker
Lord Avebury
Richard Herring
Martin Rowson
Tony Hawks
Peter Cave
Diane Munday
Professor Norman MacLean
Professor Sir Harold Kroto
Sir Richard Dalton
Sir David Blatherwick
Michael Rubenstein
Polly Toynbee
Lord O’Neill
Dr Simon Singh
Dan Snow
Ô Tesco, how I miss you
A full rib of beef for 10 quid per kilo… In Switzerland, this would be about 60 francs per kilo. Le sigh…..