Never, ever, EVER use J&J babywash to shave when you run out of shaving foam unless you enjoy scaring people.
Tag: random shit
That's something new
Stalking boobs to the tune of the Jaws theme is fun :) It also makes getting dressed quite a workout :)
A year in review
Try this one. Go back through your archive of 2005 and pick one post topic for representative of each month. Mine are:
January – My junk isn't jacked up.
February – Me? Absent-minded? Never!
March – Life as a “Clean Sweep” episode.
Apris – You need to fill in form VAF1…
May – My furniture saga unfolds
June – It's hot and it's wet, which is good in a woman but bad in a city.
July – No, this is not Phil's Taxi Service.
August – I can't have my pussy :(
September – The joys of passport control.
October – What to do when the people around you aren't feeling well.
November – I have met the Grogan clan today.
December – Housework sucks big sweaty donkey balls.
Looking back on this year, though a lot of good things have happened to me, its been a hard year for those I love. I hope the next one is better.
It's beginning to look a lot like xmas
Except for the complete and utter lack of snow hereabouts… blergh. Only 18 days until I leave for Canadia, joy! Like Katy says, it can't come soon enough. It'll do me good to see friends and family again. Hopefully the shoulder from doom will be kind to me on this trip though. It's been acting up again and I've been waking up stiff as a board for the last two weeks. Not cool, not cool at all.
I've been reading an interesting book by Jon Grimwood called 9Tail fox. The bio reads:
Sergeant Bobby Zha of the SFPD is desperate to find out who murdered him. But he also needs the answers to some other questions. Like, why is he in another man's body? Why is someone trying to kill him, again… And why is he being haunted by a nine-tailed Celestial fox?From the shell-shattered ruins of Stalingrad in 1942 to the present day politics of San Francisco's Chinatown, 9tail Fox is evocative of place and crystal clear in its depiction of character.
It's not bad. There are bits and pieces that make prevent it from being excellent – one of which is that the author keeps thinking that you know the book and storyline just as well as he does, so he keeps making these hints that you think you should understand, but just don't and they're not explained so that just makes them frustrating. Besides that though, it's been keeping me entertained so that's always a good sign
Things at work are becoming interesting. In the span of 2 days, half a dozen people have contacted me about putting bits of the ontology lookup service I've been working on into their applications. Very gratifying. I'm almost done with the first draft of the paper I'm going to submit and it's being reviewed by my boss today.
That name rocks
Program and Organizing Committees have honor to announce the traditional biennial event-The Fifth International Conference on Bioinformatics of Genome Regulation and Structure (BGRS'2006). The Conference will be held on July 16-22, 2006, in the Novosibirsk Scientific Center, Akademgorodok, Novosibirsk, Russia.
I received this invitation for a scientific meeting by email. I'm tempted to go just because of the name of the place where it's held. Akademgorodok, Novosibirsk. With a name like that, the place has to kick ass :D
Yoinked from <lj user="raspberrysalmon">
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Take the quiz.
Post your results.
1) Are ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
pretentiousgit and blacksquiggles going steady? um, no.
2) What animal does ashre79 remind you of? pussycat!
3) Is petkatyyazzick dead sexy? awww yeah!
4) What is mirli's favorite movie? HHGTG
5) What do you agree with electricland about? Academics can't write
6) Is suzn a college student? yup
7) Does eniran smoke? sadly, yup
8) What would straysparrow think of raspberrysalmon? Weird but fun :)
9) Does blacksquiggles do drugs? *cough*
10) Did straysparrow break up with you? yes, she broke my heart, the evil person that she is
11) Does blacksquiggles travel a lot? if you count TO traveling
12) What rank would mekez have in a giant robot army? supreme overlord
13) What languages does redlillymodel speak? English, for certain, don't know about the rest
14) Is oraboras athletic? martial arts and such
15) How many monkeys could pretentiousgit fight at once and win against? a whole army of flying ones
16) Would pretentiousgit be a better ninja or pirate? pirate, arrrrrhhg
17) What would judyna do differently in your shoes? get smaller ones
18) If raspberrysalmon and jenlittlebottom were spliced together, what would be its name? Tia Littlebottom, oh my :)
19) If elfs had a superpower, what would it be? *snerk*
20) If la_tatie was a superhero, who would be his/her archnemesis? Biological Clockman!
21) Have you flirted with emjayne? nope, she was taken at the time
22) What is redlillymodel's favorite band/artist? dunno
23) Does suzn know la_tatie? probably not, unless she's stalked my friend list
24) Where would petkatyyazzick most like to visit? Canadia
25) What is eniran allergic to? Mo.
26) How would petkatyyazzick kill sbourge? by giving him a heart attack by breaking all his camera stuff
27) Would you set up electricland and petkatyyazzick? no. she's mine! all mine! mouahahahaha!
28) What would ashre79 give emjayne for his/her birthday? a big kiss
29) Which of your friends should pretentiousgit go out with? don't know her well enough
30) What planet should cadhla be from? Planel Hollywood
Things that happened today
Things that happened today:
1. We got tailgated by Jamie Oliver and Jools
2. Storm Troopers told us to move along in front of Virgin Megastore
3. I had my brain chewed on by a madness hamster.
4. There are fucking fireworks going off everywhere and it's driving me insane.
5. We bought a xmas tree and an assload of baubles to put in it.
I'm a boob. Really? so am I!
Katy made her boobs talk. It was quite amusing. Apparently, her left boob makes a nice “confused” face, and her right boob is the “yes boob” that agrees with everything the left one says. But hey, it works for me :)
A layman’s guide to philosophy
| TERM | WHAT IT MEANS TO A LAYMAN | WHAT IT MEANS TO A PHILOSOPHER |
|---|---|---|
| hooker | one who can be hired to engage in sexual intercourse | one who thinks that "if A, then B" is logically equivalent (in some sense) to "either not-A, or B"; can be hired to tutor undergraduates, and costs much less |
| utilitarian | almost precisely cubical and made of concrete, probably a multi-storey car park | one who believes that the morally right action is the one with the best consequences, so far as the distribution of happiness is concerned; a creature generally believed to be endowed with the propensity to ignore their own drowning children in order to push buttons which will cause mild sexual gratification in a warehouse full of rabbits |
| Benthamite | substance from the planet Bentham capable of draining the super powers of Wonder Woman, or Spiderman, or some such person | someone who really would ignore their own drowning child in order to push the rabbit-gratification button |
| supervenience | that's it! … he's the guy that gets killed by Benthamite | a one-way dependence relation between properties or facts of one type and properties or facts of another |
| personal identity | the subject of self-help books and those modern Broadway songs which involve the use of a spotlight | that by virtue of which I am the same person I was yesterday |
| logic | …dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few,Captain | involves upside-down As and reversed Es |
| existential quantifier |
an angst-ridden statistician | a reversed E: see above |
| a posteriori | things you think of when you're sitting down | knowledge which is the result of and is based upon experience of some kind |
| a priori | something you've thought of to head your "things to do" list | things you think of when you're sitting down, in an armchair, usually with a snifter of brandy in one hand |
| Platonic | the sort of love which is all very well in its way | a philosophical position which posits abstract objects almost palpable enough to trip over |
| Platonic heaven |
this is a contradiction in terms: see above | a place where one might find triangles, the square root of two, and the abstract property of being a mountain goat |
| Lewis | author of books about Narnia | a contemporary philosopher with a formidable reputation and a truly colossal beard |
| Quine | an alternative spelling of the Old Scottish word "quean", a synonym for "strumpet" which one might just get away with using in a game of Scrabble; indeed, which one often has to resort to using if all of the U's are already on the board | a contemporary philosopher of formidable reputation who I've never actually met, and whose beard I am told does not exist, but who I imagine has quite an impressive snort |
| Kripke | the name of a policeman who is the subject of a song in West Side Story, spelled so that New Zealanders will pronounce it correctly* | a contemporary philosopher of formidable reputation who, I am reliably informed, does have something of an impressive snort |
| Locke | thatte whyche prevents rogues and arrant knaves from burgling Ye Olde English Tea Shoppe | a dead philosopher of politics, language and mind |
| Moore | Dan Quayle's description of Othelloe | a dead philosopher fond of mentioning that he had two hands |
| Hobbes | the butler | a dead political philosopher (who I also think of as having a snort to be reckoned with) |
| t | a letter of the alphabet | a moment in time |
| grue | another one of those Old Scottish words so invaluable in a game of Scrabble, this one meaning "a creeping of the flesh" | either green and first observed before time t or blue and first observed after or at time t |
| modal | something to do with different tonal centres and flattened leading notes, as in "Scarborough Fair" | the phrase "possible worlds" is going to be mentioned any second now |
| possible world |
a phrase which I seem to recall was used as a lyric in a recent animated movie from the Walt Disney studios | either the biggest spatio-temporally connected thing of which we are all part, in which case there is only one; or some sort of weird abstraction, in which case there are uncountably many; but for a different view see Lewis |
| realist | hard-headed | someone who believes in the existence of trees; usually hard-headed,but if you mean "realist about everything", decidedly soft-headed |
| idealist | see tree-hugging, below | one who doesn't actually disbelieve in trees, but who thinks that they can't be bumped into, take up no space, and are in constant danger of winking out of existence if they are not properly attended to |
| pragmatist | as hard-headed as they come | someone whose belief in the existence of trees depends on their belief in the disposition of scientifically-minded angels to believe in trees |
| slab | the noise made by a semi-literate, almost sub-sentient, drunken creature, in order to indicate that it wishes to be given twenty-four cans of beer | the noise made by a semi-literate, almost sub-sentient, drunken creature, in order to indicate that there is a piece of masonry in the immediate vicinity |
| Descartes | a mathematician | a philosopher |
| Leibniz | a mathematician | a philosopher |
| Davies | a philosopher | a physicist |
| classical | Helen of Troy, Beethoven, Corinthian architecture and similar things | a stodgy, old-fashioned logic which produces wildly implausible results: for example, according to classical logic, no proposition is both true and false |
| deviant | someone who does unspeakable things to furry animals | a logic which probably would do unspeakable things to furry animals, if it could |
| absurd | silly | very silly |
| Republic | a nation defined chiefly by its lack of a monarch | a nation which may well have a monarch, so long as the monarch believes everything Plato believes, and has Plato's taste in music |
| France | a country in Europe | a nation defined chiefly by its lack of a monarch |
| the folk | the people responsible for maintaining the national supply of macrame wall hangings | a collection of more or less sensible chaps who more or less know what they mean, and it's more or less what I mean |
| gunk | matter which was once made of atoms like ordinary matter but which is now a formless substance blocking your drains | matter which is not made of atoms like ordinary matter, as it is infinitely divisible |
| deconstructing the other |
??? | ??? |
| Continental | croissants, fruit juice, coffee | deconstructing the other |
| rabbit | rabbit | contiguous and bi-laterally symmetric (when considered three-dimensionally) fusion of temporal slices, chronologically ordered, of what you are so pleased to call a "rabbit" (rabbit, indeed) |
| metaphysics | somewhere between "crystal healing" and "tree hugging" in the Dewey decimal system | No! How many times do I have to tell you? Nothing whatever to do with this New Age stuff! Now move my book away from the stand containing Shirley MacLaine, or I shall be very upset |
Cause I've been playing at this all day
I might be moving to Montana soon to sing a sad song to turn it around because we're all dumb and jaded and now there's a look in your eyes like black holes in the sky.
All that is now and all that is gone and all that's to come: a pointless life has run its course, the red rimmed eyes, the tears still run. My only problem is my problems feel all right, and it's hard for us both to let our feelings show.
I cut waves like some unborn sage and you've clipped my wings before I learnt to fly. Where you are is where I want to be. I need a dirty woman, I need a dirty girl. I think I need a Lear Jet.
No, I'm not insane. Well, not much. This is what happens when you spend your day translating shit. There are 14 song quotes in there. A prize to the person who gets them all. No cheating. Highlight the text below to get the answer.
Frank Zappa – Montana
Daniel Powter – Bad Day
Our Lady Peace – 4AM
Pink Floyd – Shine on you crazy diamond
Pink Floyd – Eclipse
Pink Floyd – Yet another movie.
Beanfield – Keep on believing
Sting – It's probably me
Kasabian – Processed beats
Metallica – Dyers Eve
Santana – Love of my life.
Pink Floyd – Young lust
Pink Floyd – Money
Dire Straits – Money for Nothing
Daniel Powter – Bad Day
Our Lady Peace – 4AM
Pink Floyd – Shine on you crazy diamond
Pink Floyd – Eclipse
Pink Floyd – Yet another movie.
Beanfield – Keep on believing
Sting – It's probably me
Kasabian – Processed beats
Metallica – Dyers Eve
Santana – Love of my life.
Pink Floyd – Young lust
Pink Floyd – Money
Dire Straits – Money for Nothing